Well just got out a relationship with a bpd ex a few months ago. Long story short.. I couldn't make sense of her actions so I did my research after. Figured out a lot of how she acted was related to bpd. I also realized I acted exactly like she did in the past and found out I had the same symptoms LOL. I didn't know it at the time, but I put a lot of work into self realization on accident (accident as I didn't know anything was wrong with me and things just changed naturally over time from events in my life) and never thought about me having a mental disorder. I always took the long road for everything and just thought I was finally "maturing" over the years. I can understand her actions completely now and hold no hate/resentment/etc whatsoever towards her. I tend to forgive easily when i've been done wrong in a way, just go numb to it, and move on with my life.
What's killing me though is just now figuring out about our similarities of me from my past and her now after doing my research on bpd. I want to reach back out so we can talk about it as just cordial platonic people. I am not going to reach back out though as I tried to reach out after she ended things for about 3 weeks. I just texted her maybe like 5ish times when she blocked me
but it's something. Also I've never really been able to remain friends with exes or even try for a second time with anyone ever. I think it would just take too much work on an ex's end even if she was to try to flip that switch for me back to a "white" state which probably still wouldn't happen. I know I will pretty much just be feeling numb to it and ignore it somewhat. I do think this ex would be the first person I can stay in cordial normal friendly communication with though as I have never met someone with bpd. Also this relationship helped me to figure out what was wrong with me in my earlier years. I still have some of the symptoms of bpd so that explains quite a bit too. Kind of crazy
I have a feeling she won't reach out though since it was only like 3 months of dating, but it would still be an interesting conversation to have together. It is what it is though! Moving on with life
