First post

[Mrsfliberty]

Hi, I am a 61 year old Christian married Christian women with 6 adult children.  After years of coping with my husband's 'not normal' behaviors, wreaking havoc in our family and now an escalation of behaviors, I've been pushed nearly to the breaking point. I love our Savior and I love my husband and want this to work.  I've been praying for years for him and asking God what is wrong with him?  I've read books throughout our marriage...'The Blessing', 'The High Cost of High Control', 'Grace-based parenting', and many more trying to figure out what is wrong with him.  We lived 20 years in a small farming community while raising our children.  My husband preached and worked in Corrections.  I never even thought to leave him, or that it was even an option even after witnessing his emotional and psychological abuse on our children and a few incidents of physical abuse.  Now with the children gone, and his aging body unable to excel at sports, he's fixated on me.  And I'm nearly losing my mind.  After researching extensively I believe my husband has a spectrum of Borderline Personality Disorders:  Histronic and Narcissist and perhaps others.  After a several emotional meltdowns (which he denies), I decided enough was enough. I sought council and TOLD PEOPLE.  He was angry for airing our 'dirty laundry'.  I put up some boundaries until we could find help and healing, including moving into the spare bedroom.  (All this caused another meltdown).  Sorry.  Anyway, I am very proactive in my own healing and he is willing to go to a therapist.  I believe that whatever he does to comply, it is to keep me from leaving and not really addressing the problems.  But at least we have some peace...maybe.  I am glad the Lord brought me to this forum.  I look forward to learning, and confiding and praying with others.  I don't like non-Christian Boards because they talk about quitting and leaving...and some are 'man-haters'.  I don't want to go down that road.  God bless you all, Mrsfliberty

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[thankful person]

Hi Mrsfliberty,
Glad you found us and hope you find some help and support here. We are not a religious group, however it is against our rules to advise each other to leave a relationship, we only have each other’s actual safety in mind, if anyone is in danger that’s a  different story. But apart from that you will find everyone is respectful and supportive of your choice to stay in the relationship and learn to hopefully improve things. I wish you all the best.

[Chief Drizzt]

Hello Mrsfliberty-

So sorry to hear about your situation.  I too am a Christian and I have found that the church as whole does not quite seem to know how to deal with mental health issues.  I’m trying to find a Christian mental health counselor who can help me with my situation.  My wife also refuses to accept she has a mental health issue - even after trying to commit suicide - so this is a difficult road to navigate alone.