Intro…

[Sickgrrrl13]

I’m so happy I found this site. I’ve recently realized that my sister and her now (recent) ex-husband are both BPD and I think also NPD, and have spent the last 25 years feeding off each other until the abuse to each other became so bad LEA became involved and they finally divorced. My sister has always been volatile toward all loved ones, but with the ex out of her presence, our mom and I, as well as her 3 kids (2 minors), are taking “her wrath.”  We have admittedly enabled her for years, and I’m done doing so. I live with bipolar and panic disorders, as well as ptss.  I need to understand how to navigate her behaviors, and how to help the rest of the family do so without continuing to enable and enforce the behavior. I am very concerned about her kids, who’ve been denied counseling, and this I am done with allowing her to treat me like she has- and am eliminating her from my life- I need to make sure that the ppl who are going to continue to allow her in their lives know how to set boundaries, and take care If themselves to minimize the negative impact she has on them

[zachira]

You are not alone in trying to figure out how to set boundaries with a disordered sibling and family members who enable her. I too have a sister who has NPD; she is married to a man with Aspergers with strong NPD traits who enables her along with a large extended family of flying monkeys. Boundaries are to keep you safe and establish limits with disordered people. Unfortunately we cannot get other family members to establish healthy boundaries with disordered family members though you can be an example by insisting on being respected and refusing to particpate in any unnecessary drama. Can you tell us more about your interactions with your sister and what boundaries work for you in not letting her dump on you the wrath she feels inside? How often do you see your sister's children?