Hi
I know how pathetic this sounds. It’s been nearly 3 years since my BPD ex discharged me. We were together for nearly 7 years. I’d supported her through lots of issues (serious mental health problems that required hospital support and just daily dramas with her kids) my ex had 3 kids which I tried to take on the best I could. But along with her family was her BPD which I didn’t understand. I also had my own issues but they seemed to always be second to everything else.
My ex ended our relationship in January 2021 with no explanation and to make it more horrific it was via text message. I have never got over that, it’s a constant thing in my head that never goes away but, the worst was finding out she was seeing a girl from her workplace, this girl was younger than both of us, a lot younger. I had to dig for information but eventually it became clear that she had been seeing her while with me and she ended the relationship to be with this girl.
It’s nearly 3 years since this happened and I’m embarrassed it still hurts me but I’m also happy they have recently split up.
I don’t get what happened or why ppl with BPD think it’s acceptable to treat ppl this way? My ex is a highly intelligent person, she isn’t stupid at all, but yet she thought this behaviour ok and did it regardless of my feelings. Does having BPD give you some kind of pass to be a dick? Coz in my eyes it doesn’t
Not pathetic at all. I'm 3 years out and still ruminate and suffer, although the mental clarity about what happened is coming back. It's taken a lot of hard work, almost every morning journaling about the things that happened and what she said/did.
I'm slowly coming back to myself. It has been the most difficult thing I have ever had to get through.
My ex ghosted me over Christmas, left town to go to her parents without me. I had no idea what she was doing for Christmas as she had studiously avoided talking about it, or even talking to me and spending time with me for two weeks before. She simply left town without saying anything at all. Her Mom had asked me when I'm coming for Christmas and I had to say I don't know. She said just come up on Wednesday and I had to say 'no, I can't do that.....she's the boss'. Her Mom shook her head and rolled her eyes.
I got a text on Christmas Eve saying "tired. going to take some time to recalibrate." I texted her back 'merry christmas'. No response.
Christmas morning I sat on my couch crying, with the handmade merino wool scarf I had bought her for Christmas from her favorite store, and a beautiful handmade card I had picked out, sitting in a bag on floor next to me.
I still had no information as to where she was, when she might have left, how long she would be gone.
She called me 7 days later- no communication, at all- and I texted her that I was not really up for talking to her that night. She never responded.
I got an email 3 weeks later telling me what a horrible person I am and now "she had to grieve what we had".
I called her and she then destroyed me over the phone for 45 minutes.
That was it. Never talked with her, emailed with her, texted with her again.
The woman (and her son) who I loved.
Why do they do this sh*it? Who knows.
