Appreciation for healthy people

[Our abuse recovery guide]

I've found that the drama in the recent months has given me a new appreciation for healthy people. It's deepened my appreciation for good colleagues, kind acquaintances and patient friends, and for the time I spend with these people. For instance, it's satisfying to do work and be appreciated, and even constructive criticism can be enjoyable if it's insightful, calm and leading to improvement for all parties. There is a lot of pleasure in navigating little social challenges such as working out a compromise with someone: seeing that your needs are not "too much", that people are very willing to meet you halfway if you speak up, and that they appreciate you for doing the same for them. Same with getting creative and cooperatively finding alternative solutions that work for everyone.

It's nice to find that people want to see you, meet you, hear what you think, even if it's just for a job or a quick coffee. To be told in non-verbal ways: "You matter", even though it may be just in little things. People asking you for a recipe or wanting to know on the telephone what the weather is like in your part of the world. People that tell you their worries and also listen to yours. People that you never have explosive arguments with, because there is virtually nothing to argue about, and if, you just talk it over calmly and resolve it fully at once. People whose different opinions you appreciate and who appreciate yours. People who know how to be civil, speak calmly, yet empathically. No drama, no grudges, no scorekeeping, no highs, no lows, just calm, quiet communication, mundane, trivial, easy-going, safe.

Normalcy is an underrated treasure. I used to be blind to it but now I see it everywhere, and it's a tremendous consolation.

[Sappho11]

I've found that the drama in the recent months has given me a new appreciation for healthy people. It's deepened my appreciation for good colleagues, kind acquaintances and patient friends, and for the time I spend with these people. For instance, it's satisfying to do work and be appreciated, and even constructive criticism can be enjoyable if it's insightful, calm and leading to improvement for all parties. There is a lot of pleasure in navigating little social challenges such as working out a compromise with someone: seeing that your needs are not "too much", that people are very willing to meet you halfway if you speak up, and that they appreciate you for doing the same for them. Same with getting creative and cooperatively finding alternative solutions that work for everyone.

It's nice to find that people want to see you, meet you, hear what you think, even if it's just for a job or a quick coffee. To be told in non-verbal ways: "You matter", even though it may be just in little things. People asking you for a recipe or wanting to know on the telephone what the weather is like in your part of the world. People that tell you their worries and also listen to yours. People that you never have explosive arguments with, because there is virtually nothing to argue about, and if, you just talk it over calmly and resolve it fully at once. People whose different opinions you appreciate and who appreciate yours. People who know how to be civil, speak calmly, yet empathically. No drama, no grudges, no scorekeeping, no highs, no lows, just calm, quiet communication, mundane, trivial, easy-going, safe.

Normalcy is an underrated treasure. I used to be blind to it but now I see it everywhere, and it's a tremendous consolation.