A scary thought.....any insight?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Im not really sure where to put this, if even on this website, but I feel the need to ask.  I was sure my ex was BPD.  He has a glaring 7 of the 9 criteria, but I fear that there was much more at play.  He once called me a psychopath, which I considered as a possible projection.  He was abusive toward my dog, even threatening to kill him by throwing him over the edge or putting him in the blender.  He was abusive toward me as well, threatening to kill me many times.  He had a hatred toward women that is downright scary.  He said women were the most disgusting creatures on earth.  He has admitted to considering being a serial killer, beginning when he was a young teen.  He can readily identify with the most sadistic killers you've heard of.  With all that being said, to the outside world he was spotless, caring, compassionate, held a public service job in which he has earned several honors, portrays himself as someone who is genuinely concerned about the safety of women, and is extremely charming.  He could rage at me, then turn around and tell others how incredible I was, with themost charming smile.    He is the person who would commit horrible acts of violence and everyone would say "not him!  He's such a good person!  I would never have guessed".

Im writing this because today a womans body was found lifeless and nude.  Im not saying he did it, but I certainly wouldn't be shocked.  I half expect it to happen again.  It is very scary that I can even consider the possibility.  I had the same feeling about a month ago when a woman was found dead in a dumpster.  

Am I overreacting by considering the possibility?  Is it possible that I was dealing with much more than BPD?  I believe im the first one who got away with power of my own.  

[RCA212]

Im not really sure where to put this, if even on this website, but I feel the need to ask.  I was sure my ex was BPD.  He has a glaring 7 of the 9 criteria, but I fear that there was much more at play.  He once called me a psychopath, which I considered as a possible projection.  He was abusive toward my dog, even threatening to kill him by throwing him over the edge or putting him in the blender.  He was abusive toward me as well, threatening to kill me many times.  He had a hatred toward women that is downright scary.  He said women were the most disgusting creatures on earth.  He has admitted to considering being a serial killer, beginning when he was a young teen.  He can readily identify with the most sadistic killers you've heard of.  With all that being said, to the outside world he was spotless, caring, compassionate, held a public service job in which he has earned several honors, portrays himself as someone who is genuinely concerned about the safety of women, and is extremely charming.  He could rage at me, then turn around and tell others how incredible I was, with themost charming smile.    He is the person who would commit horrible acts of violence and everyone would say "not him!  He's such a good person!  I would never have guessed".

Im writing this because today a womans body was found lifeless and nude.  Im not saying he did it, but I certainly wouldn't be shocked.  I half expect it to happen again.  It is very scary that I can even consider the possibility.  I had the same feeling about a month ago when a woman was found dead in a dumpster.  

Am I overreacting by considering the possibility?  Is it possible that I was dealing with much more than BPD?  I believe im the first one who got away with power of my own.  

[tiredmommy2]

That's scary stuff there!  I'm so sorry that you went through all of that.

Not that I'm anyone to diagnose, but it sure sounds like he has something beyond BPD going on. Here's a pretty good test that I used to help me figure out what was going on with my mother: www.arkancide.com/psychopathy.htm - put a 0 next to each trait that doesn't apply, 1 if it applies partially, and a 2 if it's a perfect match. My mother flagged as a psychopath, and I'm guessing that your ex would too.

Have you ever considered mentioning your concerns to the police?  It's not like you have evidence that it was him, but I'm pretty sure that the police would be interested in knowing about a guy who thinks that women are "the most disgusting creatures on earth", and stated that he had been thinking about becoming a serial killer since he was a teen. 

p.s. Ted Bundy was charming in public too.

[turtle]

Our prisons are littered with sociopaths. Scott Peterson is a classic case.  Another very charming man in public.

Many serial killers are sociopaths, but then again, who knows what really makes up a serial killer.  It's twisted -- that's for sure.  And for someone to actually tell you they had considered becoming one is VERY scary.

You may be overreacting, but you may not!  I agree with tiredmommy -- it never hurts to express your concerns to the Police.  They may blow you off, but then again, they might welcome the information!  And you will know that you did all you could do!

turtle

[argyle]

You might want to consider anti-social personality disorder?  He sounds scary.  Congratulations on leaving, btw.

All things considered, if you are really in a safe place - and have any documented evidence of his past behavior - and given the power over others that his public position gives him - dropping a mention to an appropriate member of the police department might be wise.

OTOH, putting that guy as far behind you as humanly possible would also be wise.

--Argyle

[Suzn]

That sounds very close to the BTK serial killer that was finally caught in our neck of the woods. He had a public service job, church goin man and his wife didnt have a clue. Thats scary stuff.

[2010]

Is it possible that I was dealing with much more than BPD?

It doesn't matter what he is labelled as. What matters most is why you felt it was appropriate to repeatedly trust him in the face of evidence that he was a Jekyll and Hyde.