To be whole, let yourself break.
To be straight, let yourself bend.
To be full, let yourself be empty.
To be new, let yourself wear out.
"suffer what there is to suffer and enjoy what there is to enjoy and regard these both as facts of life"
Profound stuff 2010.
On reflection ... .
I went through the process, without knowing of BPD at the time, 14 years ago. Same old story, whirlwind romance, idealisation, devaluation, push/pull, sudden r/s death. What i found at the time though is that i came out of it eventually as a much, much stronger person so at the end of the day i had benefitted greatly despite the huge trauma at the time.
With reference to the above statements ... .
Maybe i went back and put myself through all that with the same person for a 2nd time absolutely knowing the dangers but choosing to be broken, bent, empty and worn out as i was low and lacking direction(my previous, totally brilliant partner died) and that is what i needed to regenerate myself into a better, stronger and faster new 'ME'(the previous outcome).
Maybe my uBPDex is ultimately a force for the good and i just used her 2nd time round as a stepping stone.
I know myself that there is some truth in that.