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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: Should I change my locks?  (Read 862 times)
recoverynow

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« on: March 08, 2012, 03:14:40 PM »

My ex BPD and former mother in law BPD both have keys to my house.  I feel uncomfortable about that and want to change my locks.  Should I change the locks?  I hesitate doing this because I want to keep peace, and have to deal with her to clean up finances between us.  My fear is that if I change my locks my drama may escalate.
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turtle
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« Reply #1 on: March 08, 2012, 03:20:08 PM »

Your safety is important. If you feel better changing the locks, do so!  However... .I don't know your whole story... .  If she is still has any vested interest in that property, you'd better check with an attorney before you change the locks.  Always cover your ass when it comes to these kinds of things!

If you haven't cleaned up everything between the two of you, then you're going to have drama no matter whether the locks are changed or not.  Sad, but true.

turtle


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2010
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« Reply #2 on: March 08, 2012, 03:31:56 PM »

Does she own the House? I agree with turtle. Check with a lawyer. If the House is yours, change the locks.
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recoverynow

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« Reply #3 on: March 09, 2012, 01:34:09 PM »

The house is mine Hi!
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Belka
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« Reply #4 on: March 09, 2012, 01:42:52 PM »

Change your locks! Smiling (click to insert in post) Why would your ex or his mom need to be in your house when you're not home anyway?

Asking for your keys back might cause drama. Changing the lock shouldn't, in theory at least!
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ellil
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« Reply #5 on: March 09, 2012, 01:45:22 PM »

Did your ex live with you for any amount of time? If so, in certain states, they have certain rights and eviction may be necessary. In that event, you'd need to speak to an attorney. For instance, in NY, if you invite a boyfriend/girfriend, they are known as a licensee, and have certain rights depending on how long they stayed.

Hopefully, you only gave her a key, as I had a key to my ex's place (fortunately, he did NOT have one to mine). But we never lived together.

M
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