Thank You Text Attempt to Recycle?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

This evening I was missing my uBPDxgf, and received the following text from her:

I just want to thank you for taking the time and effort to bring the things of mine that were at your house to [my house].  It was very kind and I really appreciated it.  Thank you, [_____]!

This is almost two weeks after I returned the belongings that my uBPDxgf had left behind at my house (I dropped them at her house when she wasn't home). I immediately felt acute pain, fear, and hope.

Does this presage an attempt at recycling?  Are she and I still doing a dance, albeit from afar?

BTW, my response: yvw

[Wimowe]

This evening I was missing my uBPDxgf, and received the following text from her:

I just want to thank you for taking the time and effort to bring the things of mine that were at your house to [my house].  It was very kind and I really appreciated it.  Thank you, [_____]!

This is almost two weeks after I returned the belongings that my uBPDxgf had left behind at my house (I dropped them at her house when she wasn't home). I immediately felt acute pain, fear, and hope.

Does this presage an attempt at recycling?  Are she and I still doing a dance, albeit from afar?

BTW, my response: yvw

[turtle]

My opinion is that if you're responding to her texts -- even with three little letters, you're still engaging.

I think a thank you text two weeks after the fact is a fishing text.  She's seeing if you'll respond and you did.

Are you hoping she texts you back?

turtle

[Wimowe]

I think a thank you text two weeks after the fact is a fishing text.  She's seeing if you'll respond and you did.

What emotionally speaking is she fishing for?

Are you hoping she texts you back?

Wounded child part of me: yes

Wise healthy part of me: no

[turtle]

What emotionally speaking is she fishing for?

Are you hoping she texts you back?

Wounded child part of me: yes

Wise healthy part of me: no

She's fishing to see if you will still be her source of supply.

IMO Their emotions are like candy wrappers in the wind, so trying to figure out what she is looking for emotionally is futile.   


Will you be reacting as the wounded child, or as the wise and healthy adult?

I've done both.  .

turtle

[Wimowe]

What emotionally speaking is she fishing for?

Are you hoping she texts you back?

Wounded child part of me: yes

Wise healthy part of me: no

Will you be reacting as the wounded child, or as the wise and healthy adult?

I've reacted as the wounded child a lot in the past, so I'm thinking to try the wise and healthy adult response -- see what that feels like. 

[turtle]

I've reacted as the wounded child a lot in the past, so I'm thinking to try the wise and healthy adult response -- see what that feels like. 

Great choice!

[Wimowe]

What emotionally speaking is she fishing for?

She's fishing to see if you will still be her source of supply.

Being relatively new to the BPD world, it's still hard for me to get my brain around this.

[myself]

Wimowe, making this healthier choice, share with that wounded child that you are doing it for BOTH of you. It will help to heal your inner child, as well as acknowledging/living the best of your wiser more mature self. Responding in your best interests now=

[turtle]

Being relatively new to the BPD world, it's still hard for me to get my brain around this.

It definitely takes some time.  Read here. Post here. Ask questions!  That's how we all continue to learn.  I've been around these boards for years... .  and I STILL learn new things.  Not just about BPD, but about me.  And that really is the key... .  to learn about YOU.

turtle

[bpdspell]

Hey Wimowe,

When our ex's attempt to reach us indirectly it helps to know where we stand with how we want to move forward. Attempts by them can mean anything because their behavior isn't always decipherable. She could have been bored, lonely, missing you, needing narcissistic supply or all of the above... .  what matters is putting the focus back on your feelings and ultimately what you want. It takes practice but it's worth consideration.

We've all been here. The absence from our BPD's really raises the temperature on our longing for what was. But remember ALL of her: the reality of her behavior, her antics and the devaluation stage. I remember watching my cell phone like a hawk, checking it incessantly every time it vibrated... .  wanting so bad to be validated by one of his "check in's." I was a woman possessed and wanting so bad to believe that idealization would come back and sweep me off my feet... that he'd become a man and fix his wrongs... .  

Attempts to recycle cannot happen unless we want them to. The only thing is we have to be prepared for what comes with their package: BPD.

Spell