Think he's trying to recycle me - yet again

[Depression = 72% of members]

I was married for 20 years divorced because he had found a new love of his life (who was married and also his coworker)  he was seeing her 8 months before I found out - after I left they stayed together for about a year and a half.  He cheated on her constantly and had the next one lined up before they ended.  On to the next women for 6 months he then recycles me - I was so happy I had my family back and believed all his crap and crap it was.  We were reunited for 2 years and I found out he was cheating on me the whole time and before he dropped off the planet for 2 weeks giving me the silent treatment then telling me he was depressed and needed help - he even went to therapy - I was thrilled he was getting help - it was all a lie - the whole time he was working on himself he was seeing my new replacement.  I found out through Facebook - he was posting all these wonderful lovely quotes - I addressed it - he admitted he had been seeing her and we had too much history to continue.  So once again we are done - I am broken and off he goes head over heals in love with his new supplier.  She buys him anything he wants - pays his bill and even my 20 year old who is her fathers twin has developed a relationship with the new women and of course getting whatever she wants - even a job at her company. 

When he first left I barely heard from him except for the Merry Christmas <3 or Happy New Year and of course Happy Valentine's Day - Now 4 months later he's texting me to see if I need anything during snowstorms.  We have another daughter who can see right thru him (isn't she lucky) he finally spent some time with her 2 weeks ago - this is the first time since the 2 hours visit on Christmas - she was to meet him at a local place but instead shows up at our home and comes in like nothing has happened. I said hi and off they went - they were back in an hour and in he comes again offering to fix the snowblower - WHAT?  I told his I was all set - he insisted - while he was here I said to take the bags I packed 4 months ago - he took some and said he'd come back for the rest - said he couldn't fit them in the truck - oh yes he could of.  So anyway my therapist said he'll be back by Easter - and oh my god I think she is correct - he also is texting me saying to call him to talk - he would not answer my calls before - now he wants to talk - so I hestiate a few days because of the effect he has on me - when I call him its just to chat about a new job he may be getting and how he'll be giving me money to help me out.

What the hell is going on - I do not want to be recycled again - I must be strong - my youngest wants nothing to do with him.  Yesterday he offered to come over help with snow removal - I said we were all all set.  Any input?

[karhues]

I was married for 20 years divorced because he had found a new love of his life (who was married and also his coworker)  he was seeing her 8 months before I found out - after I left they stayed together for about a year and a half.  He cheated on her constantly and had the next one lined up before they ended.  On to the next women for 6 months he then recycles me - I was so happy I had my family back and believed all his crap and crap it was.  We were reunited for 2 years and I found out he was cheating on me the whole time and before he dropped off the planet for 2 weeks giving me the silent treatment then telling me he was depressed and needed help - he even went to therapy - I was thrilled he was getting help - it was all a lie - the whole time he was working on himself he was seeing my new replacement.  I found out through Facebook - he was posting all these wonderful lovely quotes - I addressed it - he admitted he had been seeing her and we had too much history to continue.  So once again we are done - I am broken and off he goes head over heals in love with his new supplier.  She buys him anything he wants - pays his bill and even my 20 year old who is her fathers twin has developed a relationship with the new women and of course getting whatever she wants - even a job at her company. 

When he first left I barely heard from him except for the Merry Christmas <3 or Happy New Year and of course Happy Valentine's Day - Now 4 months later he's texting me to see if I need anything during snowstorms.  We have another daughter who can see right thru him (isn't she lucky) he finally spent some time with her 2 weeks ago - this is the first time since the 2 hours visit on Christmas - she was to meet him at a local place but instead shows up at our home and comes in like nothing has happened. I said hi and off they went - they were back in an hour and in he comes again offering to fix the snowblower - WHAT?  I told his I was all set - he insisted - while he was here I said to take the bags I packed 4 months ago - he took some and said he'd come back for the rest - said he couldn't fit them in the truck - oh yes he could of.  So anyway my therapist said he'll be back by Easter - and oh my god I think she is correct - he also is texting me saying to call him to talk - he would not answer my calls before - now he wants to talk - so I hestiate a few days because of the effect he has on me - when I call him its just to chat about a new job he may be getting and how he'll be giving me money to help me out.

What the hell is going on - I do not want to be recycled again - I must be strong - my youngest wants nothing to do with him.  Yesterday he offered to come over help with snow removal - I said we were all all set.  Any input?

[apple]

 Their patterns become clear after you have been through it. In the past, would he ask if you needed help around the house? They put out feelers to test you and see if you will bite... C'mon fishy fishy... .  

I've had a few testing signs in the past week from the exw that are making me think recycle.

[fakename]

i agree with apple entirely. thats exactly and all it is.

dont fall victim again.

remember they will never change, they only care about their own needs and live on a moment by moment basis.

and recognize, him coming to help with the snow removal isnt actually about helping you, its him manipulating to get what he wants. its always all about him

[karhues]

Thanks for the words of wisdom Im going to need them.  A letter came for my oldest who lives with him I told him Ill drop it off on Monday he said he'll come by tomorrow.   I said Id rather drop it off.   He said Ill fix the snowblower I said I can do it then he says he wants to grab more bags of clothes.  I told him its hard for me to see him he said he's fine seeing me Ug I need to run away. 

[fakename]

Hahaha he sounds like my ex. One excuse after another. Master manipulator

[Surnia]

Karhues

Its a tough situation. I agree with others and your perception about a recycle attempt.

Its also about your own needs and about boundaries. When you are done with him, stick with your boundaries about the snowblower and his things!