Overlooked Red Flag: exBPDgf's Pet Rabbit (no, it wasn't boiled)

[Depression = 72% of members]

This was kind of big, and I totally blew past it.

She had this older rabbit that she loved like crazy when we met.  This was the most pampered rabbit I'd ever seen.  It also had only one eye - it had an infection when it was younger, and the affected eye had to be removed.  This is not relevant to the red flag, just odd.

Anyway, there were a couple strange things surrounding the rabbit:

First, it was a female rabbit, but she referred to it as a male - that's what she told me, that's what she told others seeing it for the first time, and she even used masculine pronouns when talking about the rabbit to the rabbit! (E.g, "How's he doing today, my special little guy?"

I didn't learn that the bunny was biologically female until many months into our r/s.  I don't remember how it came up, but she tripped over herself when I asked her a question about the rabbit's past (she'd had it for 4 or 5 years before we met).  Basically, she inadvertently let it slip that it was female (and it's not something you can really just tell without really making a good, close, very creepy inspection of the rabbit's underside - especially if it's been fixed).  I remember thinking this was very bizarre, but laughed it off.

But the big red flag was this: She doted on this rabbit - was just nuts about "him."  And she told me several times that, when it died (it was nearing its life expectancy), she was going to be a wreck and that I'd have to really be there for her when this happened (and dispose of the the rabbit's remains).

Then she finished grad school and moved.  Bunny came along, but she had other exciting things happening now.  I never really heard her mention the rabbit anymore.  Then, as anticipated, the rabbit died one morning.

She called me to tell me it had died.  She sounded upset, but not really.  In fact, it sounded fake.  It sounded like she wanted me to perform well in my "job" of soothing her, but I didn't really see a need because she didn't appear very bothered in the first place.  She actually almost seemed more irritated at my lack of consoling that about the bunny's passing.

We probably talked for a good two hours that night - the rabbit occupied maybe 20 minutes of that conversation.  The rest was just ordinary chit-chat.

I don't think I ever heard her mention the rabbit again.  She must have really loved "him."

[GustheDog]

This was kind of big, and I totally blew past it.

She had this older rabbit that she loved like crazy when we met.  This was the most pampered rabbit I'd ever seen.  It also had only one eye - it had an infection when it was younger, and the affected eye had to be removed.  This is not relevant to the red flag, just odd.

Anyway, there were a couple strange things surrounding the rabbit:

First, it was a female rabbit, but she referred to it as a male - that's what she told me, that's what she told others seeing it for the first time, and she even used masculine pronouns when talking about the rabbit to the rabbit! (E.g, "How's he doing today, my special little guy?"

I didn't learn that the bunny was biologically female until many months into our r/s.  I don't remember how it came up, but she tripped over herself when I asked her a question about the rabbit's past (she'd had it for 4 or 5 years before we met).  Basically, she inadvertently let it slip that it was female (and it's not something you can really just tell without really making a good, close, very creepy inspection of the rabbit's underside - especially if it's been fixed).  I remember thinking this was very bizarre, but laughed it off.

But the big red flag was this: She doted on this rabbit - was just nuts about "him."  And she told me several times that, when it died (it was nearing its life expectancy), she was going to be a wreck and that I'd have to really be there for her when this happened (and dispose of the the rabbit's remains).

Then she finished grad school and moved.  Bunny came along, but she had other exciting things happening now.  I never really heard her mention the rabbit anymore.  Then, as anticipated, the rabbit died one morning.

She called me to tell me it had died.  She sounded upset, but not really.  In fact, it sounded fake.  It sounded like she wanted me to perform well in my "job" of soothing her, but I didn't really see a need because she didn't appear very bothered in the first place.  She actually almost seemed more irritated at my lack of consoling that about the bunny's passing.

We probably talked for a good two hours that night - the rabbit occupied maybe 20 minutes of that conversation.  The rest was just ordinary chit-chat.

I don't think I ever heard her mention the rabbit again.  She must have really loved "him."

[wb1233]

Hey Gus

That's funny. I have a rabbit post too. Check it out

[nolisan]

My exBPD had dog - very neurotic but she loved it Soo Much. Said it was a service dog that helped with her PTSD.

But one day while on vacation in the mountains the dog was splashing around right by a really swift running river. I was nervous it would slip in and get swept away.

She said "No problem ... .  it's just a dog". That detached coldness sent a child up my spine. She was like that with people too. And me a few months later!

ps the dog (an alpha btch) was always trying to mount and hump her male cat, kinda like her and me .