So today I went to see my counselor by myself. This was my third visit to her. We both were supposed to go but do to our youngest child being sick I went alone. The counselor was okay with this and intended to speak to us alone anyway at one point.
So her an I had a long hour and half chat. It started off with the question, "besides the money" what other issues are there. I named off the countless hours on the internet, the fake internet friends, the broken promises, the lies, the using of our real friends,... . and a laundry list of other things.
My counselor is a nice older 68 year old woman. Not a wall full of papers saying look at me.
She told me I am "NORMAL". That as a police officer and a person who has pored and invested ten years of my heart and soul into a person and their faults. I do not deserve to come home to things I deal with at work. I do not need the stress. I should be able to to come home and not have to deal with drama of her false life and the lives of her long distance friends she has never met. I should not have to deal with the constant attention getting schemes.
Thursday... . I spent the entire day doing a couple of things I wanted to do. I am restoring a car, and I do competitive pistol shooting. So when I got home Thursday night the conversation went something like this... .
"did you think about me" More then once, I get asked... . and finally in bed at the very end of the night. SO like three times total. I tell her { NO, I did not. Sorry W... . I worked on a car, talked about cars, booze, women, (I did complain about her to my buddy), cops, the military, and all sorts of other stuff... . At the range I talked about guns, bullets, reloading, shooting, and firearms instruction... . W I was focused on shooting... . I did not think about you. } It nearly turned to a big fight... . until I saved myself... . A local high ranking police chief friend of mine called me. I asked the Chief how she did on their uniforms. I praised her based on what he said... . and the threat of fighting... . diminished. And I was rewarded... . like a fool... . I accepted!
**My whole day... . had to be made about HER!**
Today... . I received the ultimate reward. I was told I was "NORMAL"
So I believe an escape / exit plan may be in order.
