Fed up every day

[laelle]

My bf goes through a very dark time sometimes.  He has been in the mood for weeks now.  Everyday I say good morning, how are you and he says tired and fed up.  He is distant and I know the drill while he is like this.  I really dont understand how someone can be Fed up every single day of their lives.  I have bad things going on too.  I mean dont people in prison still try to find something in their life that is good?

I poked a little bit trying to get him to talk to me.  I mean where I come from being fed up means the situation is so bad that it has to end.  He never ends it so it confuses me.

Maybe there is a different definition of this word in the UK.  Maybe it means the same as being tired of the day to day grind.

Anyway, I digress.  I tried to ask him what would make him happy, I mean if he is fed up so much of his life does it not make since to find out what does make you happy?  I know this sounds like I was being passive agressive with him, but it wasnt.  I am doing that as a vent to you guys.

He asked me wth was I talking about and that he is just under pressure and tired.  I know I have to drop it now and I so want to drop it.  I asked a question and he answered it.  Fair enough.

I still fear that because I mentioned it at an off moment for him im going to get something wildly close to snotty back in my face.

I can handle this.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[laelle]

Well what do you know.  I dropped it and didnt JADE.  He forgot to find a reason to not like what I said.   

[TigerEye]

Good for you laelle, here's one back for you   

[waverider]

Worrying about how the "may" react, can drain us just as much as the reality.

Learn how to not live your life reactively

[elemental]

 

[laelle]

Tiger- thank you 

Ele- thanks chick 

Waverider - Right on then.  This will be my next lesson to learn.  I feel a big change from my reaction yesterday from my used to be reactions.

Instead of sitting and making myself feel awful about what fire I could have just fed, I found something else to focus my attention on, and thought to myself... .  if he doest like it, he'll get over it because i wont fight about it.   

[waverider]

 

It will do your self confidence wonders

[Grey Kitty]

I still fear that because I mentioned it at an off moment for him im going to get something wildly close to snotty back in my face.

I can handle this.

Yes you can handle it. Great progress!

Well what do you know.  I dropped it and didnt JADE.  He forgot to find a reason to not like what I said.   

You said you could handle it! You did!

Reminds me of what I've read 'round here a bunch of times: "Nothing changes without [myself making] changes"

The positive side of that is that when you do make changes... .  things CAN change, and often do for the better!

Keep up the good work!