The Blaming List

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

How can everyone's story be so eerily similar?  Is it that we are only looking for the similarities?

Propunch, good for you that you have decided for yourself to give them some support.  Anger might be a healthy feeling when you have been abused, but forgiveness is better for your soul in the long run.

Please protect yourself regarding your stepdaughter.   Sick as it may be, accusations come up when BPDx's feel abandoned.  Never alone together in private is a good rule of thumb. Sorry to have to say it because such caution casts a shadow on a sweet and innocent relationship.

[sad but wiser]

How can everyone's story be so eerily similar?  Is it that we are only looking for the similarities?

Propunch, good for you that you have decided for yourself to give them some support.  Anger might be a healthy feeling when you have been abused, but forgiveness is better for your soul in the long run.

Please protect yourself regarding your stepdaughter.   Sick as it may be, accusations come up when BPDx's feel abandoned.  Never alone together in private is a good rule of thumb. Sorry to have to say it because such caution casts a shadow on a sweet and innocent relationship.

[propunchingbag]

Yes I have read about that on this board. It's amazing the lengths they can go to control a situation.

[propunchingbag]

Her text to me last night. There were 8 calls and 6 texts. She wants me to reconsider and for reasons I understand but I just cannot do it. It's a matter of self respect at this point. Do you see similarities in her message below?

"Little things matter too don't they?  Everybody gets off base sometimes.  The things on the list are not things that mean you don't love.  They are just off base areas if things that block the love you can have and get.  I know a lot of mine already for the most part and if a new one comes up, I try to work on not having it happen next time.  That is just life.  It doesn't mean you don't love if stress takes you away from it from time to time.  Sorry.  Again.  I am not trying manipulate you.  I just am trying to remind you of the good parts, even the little ones, that do mean a lot and that in your anger and haste you may miss reviewing when you look at the whole picture.  You loved me once.  You even loved me last week.  No one has such a great hanging out moment like we did on Sunday if they don't love each other."

[sad but wiser]

 Wow, that kind of vague, philosophical talk sounds so much like my ex! 

I understand why you can't reconsider.  I couldn't either.  When times were good, they were the best of times, but when times were bad (which was usually) they were awful.  I just couldn't keep living like that day after day and year after year.