I can feel normal this week...

[Take2]

So my on/off again uBPD-exbf is on vacation this week from work... .  and finally, I can breathe at work. I can TALK to people at work, I can LAUGH at work... .  I can WORK at work... .    and I can be ME at work... .    I haven't felt this relaxed at work in a couple years... .     It's HUUUGE for me... .     I wonder if my peers notice any difference... .  (probably a ridiculous thought as I imagine it's obvious)... .      I know I can do this... .  I still care NO doubt about that... .  but it's so nice to have time for ME at work... .    just wanted to share... .  

[seeking balance]

So my on/off again uBPD-exbf is on vacation this week from work... .  and finally, I can breathe at work. I can TALK to people at work, I can LAUGH at work... .  I can WORK at work... .    and I can be ME at work... .    I haven't felt this relaxed at work in a couple years... .     It's HUUUGE for me... .     I wonder if my peers notice any difference... .  (probably a ridiculous thought as I imagine it's obvious)... .      I know I can do this... .  I still care NO doubt about that... .  but it's so nice to have time for ME at work... .    just wanted to share... .  

That is great - it is nice to have freedom to be ourselves.

[Grey Kitty]

Just noticed this... .  at the end of the week. Now I'm wondering for you:

Can you keep this attitude at work next week even though he is back? It all came from inside YOU, so it will still be there next week.

[Take2]

Thanks for that Grey Kitty... .  !

I know you are right.   But it really helps reinforce it in my head to read that

I will try to keep myself remembering the relaxed feeling.  Although I do already feel anxiety worrying about fact that he has been soo much more relaxed away from work,  he has texted,  but I tense up thinking about the other shoe dropping when he returns... .  

I can only control my emotions and my reactions... .  

.I just need to not let anyone else control them... .  

[Grey Kitty]

  I'm glad I can trigger a little inspiration

I'm thinking of what you mentioned... .  talking to people, laughing, working, being yourself... .  and like you said, all things you can control.

Letting somebody else take those things away from you just isn't worth it!

If you lose it for a while... .  remember how good this felt and just decide to take it back. You know that saying... .  "The best revenge is living well!"