DBT Group - Insight Needed- Daughter of BPD Mother

[Our abuse recovery guide]

So after a tumultuous year that has been completely clouded by mother's insidious manipulation, I am struggling to say the least.

Bit of Background: Moved home last September post-graduation from graduate counseling program.  While I thought it would be nice to not pay rent for a few months as I looked for a job, but it unfortunately ended in absolute chaos.  My parents marriage was in shambles, largely due to my mother's consistently extreme emotions/attacks/criticisms. Being a therapist, it was super difficult to see this and be aware of what was going on.  As the weeks ticked on, and tensions rose even higher, I became my mothers new target.  I think we all know what that looks like so I won't go into the gritty details, but needless to say I moved out about two months ago.

So, now I've finally restarted therapy and it's been really great so far. 

But, here is the dilemma... .

I went to this same therapist before I moved home and she knows all about my mom and the struggles that stem from my rather traumatic upbringing.  I do not meet criteria for a BPD diagnosis, but I do struggle with a lack of coping mechanisms and allow my emotions to overwhelm me.  Seeing as I am still looking for a job, these emotions are owning more days as time goes by, and undermining the motivation that I need to say hard on the job search/networking. 

During my last therapy session, my therapist recommended that I try out a local DBT group.  I've never done group therapy before so I'm a bit nervous.  I also know from my training that DBT is largely for those who suffer with BPD.  Since I'm still sorting through all the trauma that I experienced as I child (and am still experiencing), I am scared that if I were to attend a group with people who struggle with BPD it would be a re-exposure to the trauma and would be counterintuitive to my progress to get past all of this.

So, I'd love to hear from those of you who resonate with this and/or have had experience with DBT groups!

Thank you!

[timba2106]

So after a tumultuous year that has been completely clouded by mother's insidious manipulation, I am struggling to say the least.

Bit of Background: Moved home last September post-graduation from graduate counseling program.  While I thought it would be nice to not pay rent for a few months as I looked for a job, but it unfortunately ended in absolute chaos.  My parents marriage was in shambles, largely due to my mother's consistently extreme emotions/attacks/criticisms. Being a therapist, it was super difficult to see this and be aware of what was going on.  As the weeks ticked on, and tensions rose even higher, I became my mothers new target.  I think we all know what that looks like so I won't go into the gritty details, but needless to say I moved out about two months ago.

So, now I've finally restarted therapy and it's been really great so far. 

But, here is the dilemma... .

I went to this same therapist before I moved home and she knows all about my mom and the struggles that stem from my rather traumatic upbringing.  I do not meet criteria for a BPD diagnosis, but I do struggle with a lack of coping mechanisms and allow my emotions to overwhelm me.  Seeing as I am still looking for a job, these emotions are owning more days as time goes by, and undermining the motivation that I need to say hard on the job search/networking. 

During my last therapy session, my therapist recommended that I try out a local DBT group.  I've never done group therapy before so I'm a bit nervous.  I also know from my training that DBT is largely for those who suffer with BPD.  Since I'm still sorting through all the trauma that I experienced as I child (and am still experiencing), I am scared that if I were to attend a group with people who struggle with BPD it would be a re-exposure to the trauma and would be counterintuitive to my progress to get past all of this.

So, I'd love to hear from those of you who resonate with this and/or have had experience with DBT groups!

Thank you!

[musicfan42]

I haven't been to a DBT group so I honestly can't say whether the group is good or not. However, I find the DBT skills themselves very helpful indeed.

I think that if you're struggling with a lack of coping mechanisms and/or emotional regulation, then going to a DBT group would be beneficial for you. The DBT skills look deceptively simple at first glance-I looked at them and thought "I understand them" but understanding something and being able to put it into practice consistently are two different things. I don't really struggle with emotional regulation but even so, it took me several months to really be able to consistently use the DBT skills in my everyday life-it takes time to put it all into practice.

I can understand where you're coming from when you say that you're wondering whether the DBT group may re-traumatise you. I'm not sure how to advise you on that issue aside from recommending that you talk to your therapist about it and try to come to some type of solution on it.  

There are threads in the "workshops" section of this website on DBT-mindfulness, wise mind etc so maybe have a read of those to get a feel of what DBT is like.

DBT was originally designed for BPD but it's used for a wide range of other issues nowadays too-binge eating, bulimia, depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder. I think that DBT is good for anyone experiencing issues with emotional regulation... . it definitely teaches positive coping mechanisms.

[Clearmind]

DBT is fantastic for anyone timba! More are moving towards DBT rather than CBT.

You are right musicfan: TOOLS: DBT for Non Borderlines- Mindfulness

I use mindfulness skills a lot when triggered - my coping skills are better now however they did need some work.