H decided to stay

[Wishful thinking]

After almost a week of wanting to divorce me, my husband decided that he loves me and needs me.

I started to ask him questions like when he will be moving out so i can go on with my life etc... . Also asked what his reasons were for wanting to leave etc. he kept saying he will not repeat imself but its not his fault that we will be getting a divorce.

I didnt say much.

He was curious to know why i was so happy. Saying that Im taking him leaving, as a joke. Actually i was surprised at the relieve (sorry i know this sounds harsh)

He sent me a text where he told me that he loved me. Needed me. And wanted me to hold him. He advised that he was going thru a bad patch.

Ive not spoken much to him eversince. And am giving him the space he needs. I am not alking to him much. At night he tries to hold my hand etc. but im not feeling it.

Why am i feeling so let down at him staying.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[briefcase]

It's ok to feel a bit conflicted about this.  It's very understandable.   

Maybe give it some time and see if you start "feeling it" again.  In the end, its not entirely his decision whether you stay together or not - you have a say in that too.  Search your heart, what do you want?

[Jeansok]

Hi Wishful Thinking! That sounds so much like my husband its not even funny... . dont to everything he says. I can understand exactly how u are feeling. I too which u might have read from a post of mine... . just wish he would leave. Did I tell u he wanted a divorce ... . again... . last week. Its so freaking exausting I have been SO guarded the past few days careful to get all trapped in again... . I know that sounds bad too. I haven't been doing much talking either. Read my post from just now if u get a chance :-) 

I feel the same way as u!

[Jeansok]

I am so conflicted to because I feel like if the tables were turned wouldn't I want someone to love me?... . im so exausted and over it. Breifcase ... . my case I want him to be normal... . I want nirmal things with the normal arguments... . normal outings with friends (dont even know what that is anymore) posted tonight about that. My heart of hearts doesn't know how much of this I can handle sonetimes

[Wishful thinking]

Conflicted emotions.

Thank you briefcase

@jeansok.

I read your post and i feel for you also.

Im with you when you say i wish he would leave... . but as briefcase mentioned that we have a say in the matter too. And even this, takes time.

What was your response on him wanting to divorce you... . again?

[Jeansok]

I pretty much flatly ignored him. The next day he was all about wanting to stay... . he came in while I was sleeping and asked me to go the next day to sign papers... . he's always talkibg like that and I dispise the negativety! Always saying things like when were apart etc etc... . im so numb tonight

[Chosen]

I understand that conflicting feeling.  In his last dysregulated episode, in which he says again we're going to divorced (apparently he has done research on it), I actually wanted him to go ahead and do it.  Not because I don't want to be with him, I just don't want to be toyed around (not intentional, I know, but that's how I felt about it).

Wishful thinking, you know what, sometimes after my H calms down (after dysregulating), he would be wanting closeness, wanting to be intimate, and I just won't "feel it".  Then he'll be angry at me (because apparently I have no right to feel upset when somebody's just lashed out at me, as he's so loving and accomodating to me).  I don't think that prolonged periods of feeling distant is healthy but sometimes we just have to take a breather... . so I know what you mean.

Sorry I'm not offering any advice here, just want to you that I can feel your pain