Hi truenorth
So frustrating isn't it? You are onto a typical BPD truth: when we set boundaries, the pwBPD tries and tries like a little child would to see if you really mean it. And if it pays off even once in a while, the behavior stays in place. If it doesn't ever pay off, the behavior eventually stops (but can resurface once in a while as a test, if you still mean it).
jellibeans asks a good question. Have you specified to him what it would mean to 'have a relationship'? And, have you specified to yourselves, what kind of help you would be able to/like to offer to him? Putting some specific ideas on the table might be a good source of ideas for your son, if he is interested (might give him some structure).
