Have I picked up a BPD triat?

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

It never use to bother me when friends/family would come and go.  I've lived far from home since I was 18 and got use to seeing people only once in awhile.  It never really bothered me until about a year into dating my exBPD.  Then I started feeling real anxiety and almost panic when a visiting friend or family member would leave.  It seemed similar to the anxiety that my ex would feel when she was separated from me.  It only happens with people who are close family or close friends. 

I now know that I do have some "core trauma" issues to do with fear of abandonment and what not.  That's a big part of why I was drawn to and stayed in a relationship with my exwBPD.  But I never use to have this panic and anxiety about "people leaving" before my ex came along.  Did I basically pick up this trait from her?  Or has this relationship just left me extra sensitive with my "core trauma" now exposed?  What do you think is going on with me?  I really don't like this feeling... .

[Tordesillas]

It never use to bother me when friends/family would come and go.  I've lived far from home since I was 18 and got use to seeing people only once in awhile.  It never really bothered me until about a year into dating my exBPD.  Then I started feeling real anxiety and almost panic when a visiting friend or family member would leave.  It seemed similar to the anxiety that my ex would feel when she was separated from me.  It only happens with people who are close family or close friends. 

I now know that I do have some "core trauma" issues to do with fear of abandonment and what not.  That's a big part of why I was drawn to and stayed in a relationship with my exwBPD.  But I never use to have this panic and anxiety about "people leaving" before my ex came along.  Did I basically pick up this trait from her?  Or has this relationship just left me extra sensitive with my "core trauma" now exposed?  What do you think is going on with me?  I really don't like this feeling... .

[mango_flower]

I honestly don't know.  I feel the same sometimes, but I'm turning into a bit of a hermit these days... .

I think it's important to highlight the fact that you're aware of it, and are posting here for feedback.  Totally different from many BPD exes, who blindly jump from one thing to another, hurting people in the process, to avoid the pain.  Ignoring the root cause, not wanting to deal with it.

So it's different, yet the same.  x

[Tordesillas]

You're right... . I don't want to ignore it and just self medicate with someone new or something worse.  I just have to deal with the wound that's been ripped open I guess.  I just hate feeling so weak and fragile.

[laelle]

No one likes to feel alone.  Maybe you get a respite in your head from thinking about your ex or the problems that you had with your ex when your with friends and family.

I just recently returned from seeing family in the usa.  I was sad to leave them for many reasons, but one of them was because my thoughts werent drifting to my

ex nearly as often when I was there.  The obsession took a break for a while.  I knew returning to my "life" would dredge those feelings up again.

I have picked up  .  Slowly they are fading as I learn new ways to cope without mirroring my ex's way to cope.  As you know they are VERY manipulative and I think its only natural to pick up on some of their ways.  Its highly effective for them, but its not right to treat others that way.

Just because you can doesnt mean you should.


 Laelle