BPD and pets

[ramble on]

Is it a trait for BPD to treat pets like they have human emotions? Or is it a form of projection?

In my case  it seems like she thinks that pets act and behave like humans. I have heard her use words with the current cat like happy, unhappy, whiny, sad, confused when talking to the cat. When we had two cats the other one was labeled selfish, unfair, lazy, mean. She uses a little girl voice when she talks to the cat. She has asked me many times if I thought the cat was "happy". My normal response is "he is a cat, I'm sure he's fine". Of course that's not a good answer and she will normally keep asking questions about the cats emotions. Do you think he's bored, do you think he likes his life?

Anyone else notice this? I am in the final stages of getting away from her after 24 years but this is something I have noticed over the years.

[Want2know]

If you use the search function on our site and type in 'pets', you will find a lot of previous threads that discuss pwBPD and pets.  It's a pretty common theme, trying to assess the connection between pwBPD and their affinity/interaction with them.

I think your question of projecting human behavior on pets is not just BPD related.  There are many non's who do this, as well.  Many of us, do to a certain extent.  I think that's pretty normal.

Does it bother you that she did this?

[Validation78]

Hi Ramble!

This is not a hallmark BPD behavior as much as a behavior that many people in general do, and yes, it is projection.  I've known many people who project their feelings onto their pets as well as other people. You don't have to be BPD to project your emotions and feelings!

Best Wishes,

Val78

[laelle]

My ex was the same with his pet.  He treated his dog better than he did me.  I think it has to do with the unconditional love that a dog gives, and that its the one bit of intimacy (love) that he can experience without being triggered.  That and the dog cant talk back or leave.

[Ittookthislong]

projection on pets is what made me realize i was  too much of a caREtaker and needed to stop feeling responsible for others. haha i got my first puppy and id be relaxing at my place and id look over and think, shes so bored, she probably wants a family with kids to play with and then id force myself to walk her... . eventuaally i started realizing how ridiculous it was that i worried about how my dog felt non stop... . haha. i still walk her though

[ramble on]

I didn't really think it was strictly a BPD thing. Maybe I am just really hyper sensitive lately. But sometimes it seems like when she is telling the cat its bad, selfish and some other things its like she is talking to someone else entirely. Heck I talk to the cat sometimes as well, but I don't have a full blown discussion with it either. And when she does talk to the cat it is in a very childlike voice.