Falling into the past

[romancandle]

So long story short she name very angry with me and I am really at a loss for what to do.  She was mad at me and I admit I got sarcastic when she got right into my face and she knows that cursing in front of our 2 year old is something I don't tolerate well. I did say something that I shouldn't have about how the anxiety about her over the top anger was going to give me a heart attack (I do feel this way. I am constantly concerned something/anything will trigger and anger spiral).

She started hitting me when I responded and punched me multiple times and then left for a while. I calmed my toddler down and got him to bed and tried to talk to her when she returned(huge mistake).

She became more violent telling me I was going to do everything she says and demanding I sit down when I tried to go to another room when she started cursing and acting hostile.

She then proceeded to punch me in the groin and stomach multiple times and wrapped me up trying to control me I guess.  I removed her from around my leg in an effort to stop her from punching me and simply just unwrapped her arm a but from me so I could get up. She is super charged by this point and now is talking about how she is going to cut herself or hurt herself.

I need help. I told her I would have to call the police if she kept threatening herself and she toon that to be me being horrible.  (I am not a trained doctor and I don't know what to do when somebody has a knife and threatens them self).

I just don't know what to do. She keeps threatening to wake our son and take him away and I won't let that happen, in her state.  I need some coaching or something.  Please.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[tiredpartner]

Can you validate her feelings and ask her what you can do to help the situation? Do you have a safety plan? It is not ideal for this late hour but maybe if it continues you and your son need to go to a safe place.

[DreamFlyer99]

React like you're trying to ruin their life by telling them the consequence they'll face for their actions is so common to pwBPD. If somebody is being that over the top and around your child, why couldn't you call the emergency services to tell them she's threatening to self harm and you're concerned for your toddler? That's just the natural consequence of that behavior. it sounds harsh, but sometimes that's necessary.

The BPD is going to act like you're crazy when you try to act rationally or logically to their craziness, it seems to be just what they do. And if she's being physically abusive to you, that's not a situation for your child OR you to be in, and what Tired Partner says is true, for safety's sake you may need to take your toddler and go somewhere safe.

It's so hard when you start setting boundaries--they will of course be met with a lot of push-back. but you have to think of the safety of you and your child! I grew up in that whole unhinged state of parental affairs and it was awful--you don't want that for your child, they deserve to live in an emotionally/physically safe environment!

I hope for your success in this relationship, it's a tough road but learning to have your boundaries is the best thing for you and your child.

[lbjnltx]

Hi romancandle 

How has the atmosphere been at home these past few days?  Calm I hope!

I wanted to provide you with some information for you to consider just in case you need it in the future.  It is always good to have a plan in place.

Safety First

TOOLS: Domestic Violence Against Men

TOOLS: Dealing with threats of Suicide and Suicide Attempts

If you have any questions about this information we are happy to work through it with you.

Let us know how you and your family are and how else we might help.

lbjnltx