Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
November 01, 2024, 06:29:23 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: EyesUp, SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
81
Pages: [1]   Go Down
« previous next »
  Print  
Author Topic: Where do you keep your books on this topic?  (Read 541 times)
Evalon

*
Offline Offline

Posts: 38
« on: June 13, 2013, 10:44:20 AM »
I ordered some books a few weeks ago on how to deal with people with BPD (one was on how to prepare if you need to get out of a relationship - recommended on this site), but then when my husband started being nice again (part of the cycle), I felt so scared and guilty about it that I actually threw them away, so my husband wouldn't find them.  I feel like this is part of the control he has on me by switching from nuts to nice.  I have started seeing a therapist and she gave me the assignment to re-order one of the books on a kindle app on my phone, but usually apps show up on our family ipad too, so I am worried my husband would find my book when he uses the ipad.  Is there another way to read books online?

Thank you for any suggestions.
Logged
Surnia
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: 8 y married, divorced since 2012-11-22
Posts: 3900
« Reply #1 on: June 13, 2013, 10:56:13 PM »
I can imagine how you feel with it, I had the same problem with my exh.

I had my books at my workplace and only the one I read well hided at home. I was more comfortable to read them on the e-reader, but I had my own.

What about your own little Ipad?
Logged
“Don’t shrink. Don’t puff up. Stand on your sacred ground.”  Brené Brown
Linlu53

*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 43
« Reply #2 on: June 14, 2013, 06:09:18 PM »
I would like to get some ebooks as well. Especially the Family Guide to borderline. But when I go to buy it it seems it is only in paperback. I can't let a book like that lie around, either. My h does not read so even if it were on our shared iPad he would never open the kindle app. Any place I can find that particular book?
Logged
Surnia
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: 8 y married, divorced since 2012-11-22
Posts: 3900
« Reply #3 on: June 14, 2013, 11:10:41 PM »
To Linlu

A h who would never open a kindle app is a advantage 

You will find the Family Guide Book for kindle reader here.
Logged
“Don’t shrink. Don’t puff up. Stand on your sacred ground.”  Brené Brown
Linlu53

*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 43
« Reply #4 on: June 15, 2013, 10:33:50 AM »
Found it! Yea!
Logged
SadWifeofBPD
Guest
« Reply #5 on: June 15, 2013, 11:28:05 AM »
After my mom witnessed one of my H's rages, she sent me a book about dealing with difficult husbands (we didn't know h had BPD then).

I knew that H would have a fit if he saw it, so I changed the cover.  I put a "chick lit" paper cover on it. 

Later, if found that hiding books between the mattress and box springs to be a good hiding place. 
Logged
waverider
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: married 8 yrs, together 16yrs
Posts: 7407


If YOU don't change, things will stay the same
« Reply #6 on: June 16, 2013, 06:07:48 AM »
Mine are on the mantlepiece in the lounge room. Took a while to get the courage to that. But my partner is at a stage now that she is aware she has BPD, and is greatful that I am doing things to help our RS.
Logged
  Reality is shared and open to debate, feelings are individual and real
Evalon

*
Offline Offline

Posts: 38
« Reply #7 on: June 18, 2013, 12:45:20 PM »
Thank you for the suggestions!  SadWife, what a brilliant idea to change the cover to a chick-lit book!  I love it Smiling (click to insert in post) 

I ordered a tiny Nook from Barnes and Noble (didn't want to do Kindle, since I think it's connection to Amazon and we use the same account there to order books and a lot of other things.  I haven't received it yet, but hopefully, it will be a good way for me to catch a few minutes of reading here and there if I am in the car waiting to do school pick-up or something.  I plan to keep it in a compartment of my purse.  I don't have a workplace to store book in since I am home with my kids.
Logged
Ring of fire
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 341
« Reply #8 on: July 12, 2013, 07:54:41 PM »
I have a friend who took the "walking on eggshells" book  and had the book rebound  with a fake cover and side. He is a lawyer and I believe the fake cover is posing as a legal boring book,one in which a  BPD would never pick up. I thought that was a  pretty clever thing to do.
Logged
waverider
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: married 8 yrs, together 16yrs
Posts: 7407


If YOU don't change, things will stay the same
« Reply #9 on: July 12, 2013, 08:15:06 PM »
Quote from: Ring of fire on July 12, 2013, 07:54:41 PM
I have a friend who took the "walking on eggshells" book  and had the book rebound  with a fake cover and side. He is a lawyer and I believe the fake cover is posing as a legal boring book,one in which a  BPD would never pick up. I thought that was a  pretty clever thing to do.

Just as long as you dont put the fake cover on upside down Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)
Logged
  Reality is shared and open to debate, feelings are individual and real
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
BPDFamily.com > Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) >  Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting > Topic: Where do you keep your books on this topic?
 « previous next »
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife


Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!