Insecurity and PDs (BPD/NPD or Passive aggressive)

[crystalclear]

On this forum I have seen different shades of BPDs or/and NPD traits and at times a cross over of different PD behaviors.

So much that it drives me crazy, just breaking down our conversations and his reactions to recognize the commonalities with the disorder (Yea, i get quite analytical - my jobs required me too)  

Did you sense 'Insecurity' in the pwPD and what role does it play especially during the devaluation and discard phase?

Also, my exbf was quintessential passive-aggressive person. How closely related is this to BPD?

[Validation78]

Hi Crystal!

Since BPD is an emotional disorder, it is common to see insecurity. My ex often feels (for him, feelings=facts) like people are plotting against him, which causes a lot of insecurity. Also, since his emotions are highly volatile, he acts in a passive aggressive manner, not  able to express his feelings in a healthy manner.

Some of the behaviors we experience with our pwBPD are those that even nons exhibit like insecurity and passive aggressiveness. I know lots of insecure and PA nons!

Best Wishes,

Val78

[crystalclear]

  Val78,

Sure we all have our insecurities, and display passive aggressive behavior - more or less. But the intensity and frequency is much lesser, and it does not appear every day.

I was in constant fear of expressing my thoughts or being myself around my exbf after a few months. He said the sweetest things and pointed out how his anger was only frustration due to the distance we had between us - disabling him to enjoy how couple do in love. All talk, no actions follow when i was with him in person.

He constantly questioned me about my whereabouts, judged my actions or words especially with other guys, picked on my imperfections in an indirect or sarcastic manner. When we were together his eyes were always on me - if i was in the same room. When i was online, or on the phone - his demeanor changed almost instantly - suspicious of what i am doing. He always blamed me for giving my friends (guys mainly) more importance or enjoyed spending time with friends than him, and encouraged other guy friends to get close to me... .  whaaat?

Insecurity, anger and control were strongly evident - all the time!