Dating Profile

[Depression = 72% of members]

I feel sick.

I just found his dating profile on ok cupid. My heart is shattered.

I feel like I have lost my grounding. I need to remember who I am and who he is.

I need to remember why I broke up with him so many times.

I need to remember that he never cared and lied.

I have tried so hard to block him out. So hard to protect myself from him. He has been gone for 2 months in New York and will be returning at some point. But I have no idea when. I am scared to see him. I know it will hurt so bad.

I feel so addicted to him. So rejected by him. So pathetic.

I don't want anyone else but I don't want him. Yet I desperately want him.

I want to tear my heart out. I want to cut him out of me.

I want him gone.

WHEN WILL IT GET EASIER?

[shaggysoul]

I feel sick.

I just found his dating profile on ok cupid. My heart is shattered.

I feel like I have lost my grounding. I need to remember who I am and who he is.

I need to remember why I broke up with him so many times.

I need to remember that he never cared and lied.

I have tried so hard to block him out. So hard to protect myself from him. He has been gone for 2 months in New York and will be returning at some point. But I have no idea when. I am scared to see him. I know it will hurt so bad.

I feel so addicted to him. So rejected by him. So pathetic.

I don't want anyone else but I don't want him. Yet I desperately want him.

I want to tear my heart out. I want to cut him out of me.

I want him gone.

WHEN WILL IT GET EASIER?

[Validation78]

 

Hi Shaggy!

Sorry that things are so hard for you. We all know here how hard it is to detach from someone you love, and all the more difficult in a relationship with a pwBPD!

Time is your friend sweetie, and you have to give it time. I promise you, it does get better.

In the meantime, what are you doing to take care of yourself and to continue with your healing? You have to make this part of your daily routine, and be serious about it. We are here for you and can help!

Best Wishes,

Val78

[nyfit1]

So sorry to hear that shaggy. My currently exBPDgf (status changes almost daily now) did the same thing. Last year when things were rough I told her if she wanted to see other people for a while then just let me know. She swore she didnt and then told me the usually bs about loving me (actually has told me she loves me more than her teenage kids, sick). I felt something was up cause she was too calm. I did a search that night and there she was on the first site I looked with a week old profile pic that I actually took. I didn't call her. I waited til next day at work. Sucks working with her. I didn't have time to see her in morning cause I was running late. She accused me if avoiding her and she snapped on me. Then I threw the site news in her face. It was like a short circuit. Profusely denied it, then said it was old profile, told her pic was new but profile old. Profile said she is still looking for mr right. How do u like that. After a few minutes she was able to come up with bs. She said she didn't lie when I asked her if she wanted to date. She said she really doesn't but our unstable relationship made her do it. Can u believe that

[Emelie Emelie]

I'm so sorry Shaggy.  Please do try to remember who you are.  And who he is.  I'm not in much better shape than you are.  I just try to tell myself, "This too shall pass."

[Cocoalover]

Hey shaggysoul,

I experienced this twice. First was 2month after our so called committed r/s. one day he picked a fight , I said nothing, I knew where he had a profile on a dating site, boy when I looked at it my mouth was wide open, very private pics like a slut! I didn't contact him, the next day he wanted meeting via a message , and I replied that its ok with me that he ended it and mentioned the profile! He went up to rage but I kept being quite. Lie and lie and I took him back. The second was after the break up. 2weeks after he contacted me to go and visit his family. I looked at the website and found out that the pics he put on there had been taken In my room, when? I don't know... . Never replied but could not stay in the place and quietly moved out. Tell me about it... .