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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: Where Would I be Now?  (Read 538 times)
nolisan
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 332



« on: August 09, 2013, 10:29:44 AM »

Just passed 10 months NC on the 7th.

One big reason for things unraveling was that a balked at her manipulation that I sell my house, buy hers and move in with her. I can't believe it now but I was actually thinking seriously of doing that.

But I had a dream (more like a nightmare) that I had followed her wishes and made the move and then she abandoned me anyway. I was stuck with crappy little house I didn't like and she was gone. The next morning I wrote her a note saying I wasn't doing it. We bounced around for another month or so but that was basically the end.

That dream saved my life. I'm still recovering emotionally and financially but I am recovering ... . not digging a deeper hole.
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