We Made It To The First Appointment

[NoSocks]

Very long story short... . we were late to the appointment because my H took his time getting out of bed and getting ready. We had a three hour drive (minimum) to get to the city that the appointment was in. Ended up not having a lot of time to really talk to the two therapists' that were set to see my H and I. I was very up set from the drive down not only because of being late but also my H's driving. Just about had an accident on the HWY, the other car had to drive on the shoulder as my H didn't shoulder check, all while driving at 110 120km's. After having to pay $300 for our time there and my H being told that he would benefit from DBT we left to make our way back to our city. I drove this time!

H got upset as we were driving out of the city, then fell asleep on the way home about 40 minutes outside of our city. He abruptly woke up and began screaming at the top of his lungs. All the way home. Dysregulated for the rest of the evening. During this time he said he wasn't going to do the treatment. I firmed up what I had told him two weeks prior to the appointment, that if he is not active in treatment I can not live with him.

He called while he was at work this morning and was his calmer self. Apologized for what he said and did and we would talk when he got home.

We have since talked, and He feels Therapy doesn't work, that he'd be wasting his money. I again explained to him that he cannot change himself and now in order for me to be completely safe from severely harmful behavior I have to remove myself from living with him. That's how the conversation ended. So I am going to make appointments for myself with the therapist we saw yesterday. Doing tele-therapy.

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[an0ught]

Hi NoSocks,

H got upset as we were driving out of the city, then fell asleep on the way home about 40 minutes outside of our city. He abruptly woke up and began screaming at the top of his lungs. All the way home. Dysregulated for the rest of the evening.

 that drive sounds dangerous

Good to hear that he was told what path will help him. Of course DBT does not work. The work is done by him  . So he is saying he can't learn and do exercises? And after he learned and done exercises he has not gained anything?

During this time he said he wasn't going to do the treatment. I firmed up what I had told him two weeks prior to the appointment, that if he is not active in treatment I can not live with him.

What he says is a lot less important than what he does.

So I am going to make appointments for myself with the therapist we saw yesterday. Doing tele-therapy.

Same goes for you. It is good to see you leading by example!



a0