Is this the usual for BPDmom?

[Our abuse recovery guide]

Is it BPD behavior for them to call you every 5 seconds for a "favor" .

my BPDmom calls me every five seconds for something

and if I dont do it, she threatens me or begins whining and crying like a child.

I finish one thing, and she always needs another thing, and if my room isnt spotless and perfect she bhites all day about it...

She compares me to my sister "well if your sister could I know she would" . "your so evil because you didn't help your own mother", "At least I have your sister as a daughter", "poor me I have no one to count on"

"I need this done NOW" It has to be when SHE says it or else... . punishment or listening to her childish crap

[DontGiveUpOnMe]

Is it BPD behavior for them to call you every 5 seconds for a "favor" .

my BPDmom calls me every five seconds for something

and if I dont do it, she threatens me or begins whining and crying like a child.

I finish one thing, and she always needs another thing, and if my room isnt spotless and perfect she bhites all day about it...

She compares me to my sister "well if your sister could I know she would" . "your so evil because you didn't help your own mother", "At least I have your sister as a daughter", "poor me I have no one to count on"

"I need this done NOW" It has to be when SHE says it or else... . punishment or listening to her childish crap

[P.F.Change]

That is abusive behavior.  Many people with BPD are abusive in one or more ways. 

What are you doing to stay safe?

Wishing you peace,

PF

[Marcia]

Just remember, it isn't true about you, you're not lazy, a bad person, a bad daughter. She isn't a normal person---she is very unhappy and probably doesn't know how or want to change. Unfortunately, in my experience, people with BPD are very stubborn (defended), she is probably not going to gain much insight.

But you, you get out there and find as much joy as you can! There is thank goodness blue sky, flowers, trees, puppies and even nice people! Don't let the screwed up people in your life win!

It is tough, but you are awesome and can make it, in spite of the home situation!

[educator]

The things she is saying to you are highly abusive.  I actually read an article the other night about things never to say to your child. She uses everyone of them.  Sorry you are going through this.

[Befuddled 7x70]

 

I don't know if it is normal, but it is true of my Nada!  I think mine has NPD qualities too and just a guess but I think she gets a thrill from seeing people jump through hoops for her and to things for her.  It fills her need for control to be able to know that she made other people work for her.  She'll do it for the people at the movie theater, ask WAY too much of the wait staff at a restaurant, Waif her way into getting employees at just about any service industry to go WAY above and beyond the call of duty.  They don't know her so their just being nice, but she typically isn't even charming or nice about it.

Once for an Easter dinner she pretty much organized to get everyone to bring everything (mostly me) to her house.  All she actually did was make deviled eggs.  When I got there she had me preparing the other small items she was responsible for and then after dinner she always has the men clear the dishes and clean the kitchen.  I figured the only thing she actually did (beyond the eggs) was clean the house (maybe).  Of course, she then complained about always having to do these things at her house and why don't I host more dinners. . . whatever!