lawyer letter more useful than my email?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

As some may have seen in my other posts, my husband has been canceling dr's appointments for my kids, just to get back at me.  my lawyer has written a letter to his lawyer about this, but didn't send it yet.  Already at the time it happened, i did send my hubby several emails and CC'd my L.  She said sending a letter from her would be more useful in court if we ever need to show a pattern, so that's the main reason we're considering doing it.

I keep going back and forth on whether to send it.  The situation has calmed for now, but my fear is always that hubby will take me to court over something random just to try to get more time with the kids.  It'd be good to have anything on file that helps me.  On the other hand, we did send a lawyer letter about similar stuff last month.

I am mainly asking this:  Do you think a lawyer letter helps a lot more than copies of my emails, cc'ing the lawyer? 

[momtara]

As some may have seen in my other posts, my husband has been canceling dr's appointments for my kids, just to get back at me.  my lawyer has written a letter to his lawyer about this, but didn't send it yet.  Already at the time it happened, i did send my hubby several emails and CC'd my L.  She said sending a letter from her would be more useful in court if we ever need to show a pattern, so that's the main reason we're considering doing it.

I keep going back and forth on whether to send it.  The situation has calmed for now, but my fear is always that hubby will take me to court over something random just to try to get more time with the kids.  It'd be good to have anything on file that helps me.  On the other hand, we did send a lawyer letter about similar stuff last month.

I am mainly asking this:  Do you think a lawyer letter helps a lot more than copies of my emails, cc'ing the lawyer? 

[Aussie0zborn]

Every situation is different but a letter from a lawyer does carry a lot of weight.

Ive been on the receiving end of a lawyer's letter that said, "you returned the child five minutes late". I found that to be annoying and frivolous and my lawyer charges to pass this on.  In this case, canceling doctors appointments is no frivolous matter.  Maybe the letter should politely offer to take this responsibility away from him if he can't handle it and give you sole responsibility for health care?

[ForeverDad]

Is there any way to ask the doctors not to cancel appointments without checking with you first?  Hopefully their software allows them to flag certain accounts for special handling?  In my experience I found that hard to accomplish, along with requests such as "Reach me at my cell phone, don't leave a message on the home phone."

[momtara]

Yes, I found out that there is.  They are making a notation about it - so that's how I'm solving it for the future.

My L just wants this on file to show a pattern, in case it happens again.  My thing is, I don't know if it's worth sending another lawyer letter and inciting him further.  We have court in 2 weeks as it is, to try to do a divorce settlement.

On the other hand, if he ever tries to get more time with the kids (he has very little time right now), I can point to this lawyer letter to show his erratic behavior.  On the third hand, I did send him emails about this.  I have them, as well as the texts he sent me.

I have been going crazy trying to figure out whether to send this letter or not.  The time to do it was really last week, but I can do it at the end of this week and still have some credibility.  

I also feel like when I cut off one way he tries to get power or control, he does another, and I don't know what the next one will be.  And I can't keep sending letters every time.

So really, this boils down to this question:   if he takes me to court someday, how valuable is it to have this in a lawyer letter in my file if I already have similar emails I cc'd my lawyer on, and is it worth sending it to his L in order to have it on record as additional possible someday evidence?

[ForeverDad]

I tend to agree that lawyer should write a letter.  If shows that it rose to the level of a lawyer deciding intervention was necessary.  However, it ought to have at least some details.  We often write that phases like "he always... . " or "she always... . " are seen by the court as vague and hearsay.  By including dates and the doctor's name or practice, then it contains the details needed to be more credible.  A vague letter doesn't give any indication whether it's warranted or just plain bluster and saber rattling.