Will saying it now but not leaving right away gives him a sense hope?

[snoflke06]

I think I have finally come to the conclusion that my Husband will never be able to be the kind of husband I need.  He cannot possible ever be able to give me the same amount of support and understanding that I have given to him the last 5 years.  If you take out the fact that we don't have much to talk about because he gets upset if I talk too much about problems I may be having at work, or if I talk about exciting things that happen to me he tunes me out.  Or he says he wants to talk about things that interest him sometimes... .but he doesn't ever talk about anything.  So like I said if you take out that factor, the decision seems easy enough to me... .I just can't take it any more.  I am not his mother, his therapist or his caregiver.  :)o I sound selfish when I say that I want to just take care of me for once.  I really want to live a life where I don't have to walk on eggshells in my own home.  How many times can a person be expected to "try to make it better" by "working" on communication, or trying to make that connection when it really seems the only person he can connect with is himself.  So i have decided... .it's a hard one to make, but I have finally done it.  I am leaving my husband as soon as I am financially able to.  Now the question remains... .should I let him know that I am going to leave him, or should I wait until I have finances in order and can tell and then leave.  :)O you think that by saying it now but not leaving right away gives him a sense of false hope?  Is it stringing him along?  When is the right time to tell him?

[pecia]

I would get my things in order first. There may be some ugliness when he finds out you are leaving and then you would be stuck there to deal with it. They do not like anything to do with abandonment - which is how he will see it. Just my 2 cents. Take care