Hello

[Ravenlady57]

Hello -

I'm not quite sure I belong here, but thought it seemed like a good place to check out.  My older sister has never been formally diagnosed with BPD, but for years & years we have all suspected she suffers from some form of mental illness.  There is quite a bit of mental illness in my family on both mother & father's sides.  My father had Bi-polar disorder, my brother struggles with it to this day, etc.

The situation w/ my sister seems to be cyclical & has worsened with her elongated menopause experience.  Any advice for a person who strongly suspects a loved one has BPD?  The problem is confounded by her vehement belief that she is one of the only "sane" ones in our large immediate family of ten.

Just trying to figure out how to deal with my sister & the many feelings her continued behavior bring up.  For years, we've all just chalked it up to her being "kinda nutty" and a bhit, but my therapist recently suggested that many of her behaviors sound as if they fit that of someone with BDD diagnosis.

Thanks for listening!

[Rapt Reader]

Hi, Ravenlady57 & 

It can really be frustrating and confusing having a family member with BPD, and so many of us on this site know exactly what you are going through! When a family member has BPD, the illness can negatively everyone in the family system, including children, siblings, and in-laws. Senior members on the [L5]  Coping and Healing from a BPD Parent, Sibling, or Inlaw board are experienced with and can help you with setting boundaries, finding relief from FOG, encouraging self-care, improving your handling of relationships impacted by your BPD relative, and pursuing a path of recovery from traumatic experiences. The validation, information, and support will give you strength on your journey.

The Board linked to above will have links to the right-hand margin that you should click on--every single one is very educational and informational and can help you understand the way your sister's mind works and learn how to communicate with her in a way that doesn't push every one of her buttons. Here's a good start: Radical Acceptance for family members and Communication using validation. What it is; how to do it.

Please keep telling your story and asking your questions; we are here to listen, commiserate and offer insights and advice... .It really can help!

[Hazelrah]

Hi Ravenlady57,

I'm sorry to hear about the difficulties with your sister.  Having a loved one with any sort of mental illness can be trying for everyone involved.

Can you tell us any more about your sister?  How old is she?  What sort of behaviors have led you to theorize she might be BPD?