For those looking for a way to cope...

[nevermore]

Please read the article at the top entitled "Medium chill".  It describes the tools that I use with my BPD mother. I had once been very enmeshed, later I went no contact but that didn't work for me.  I didn't know how to maintain what I now know to be "medium chill" until I figured it out for myself. You have it broken down for you and that can save you a lot of heartache.  Please read it and give it a try if nothing else is working for you.