long story short, I was putting our daughter to bed since I am the only one that can do this. I tuck her in and give her extra kisses to help her make it through the night. She asks me to tell her mommy she needs extra kisses from her too. I tell her I will go ask and she tells me she can't say no.
I go tell her mother what she said, she doesn't even reply, apparently I disturbed TV time. Long story short she doesn't get up. I feel awful and I go back to our daughters room 5 minutes later and she looks in tears. She asks did mommy say no. I tell her of course not she just had me bring the kisses up for her and I tuck her back in. She is all smiles and I walk away so terribly sad. Oh our daughter is 2.5 years old.
So so sad.
This is awful, and one of the biggest reasons I left my BPDex even though we don't have kids. It's one thing trying to personally endure a relationship with someone mentally ill, it's another thing for me to think I would have kids with her and how my kids would suffer with this treatment by her. I know I suffered because of the lack of love my own BPD mother had, and that is why I am here today. Thank you for sharing this, I know it was difficult for you.