It is like they have no feelings sometimes.

[Knowingishalf]

long story short, I was putting our daughter to bed since I am the only one that can do this.  I tuck her in and give her extra kisses to help her make it through the night.  She asks me to tell her mommy she needs extra kisses from her too.  I tell her I will go ask and she tells me she can't say no. 

I go tell her mother what she said, she doesn't even reply, apparently I disturbed TV time.  Long story short she doesn't get up.  I feel awful and I go back to our daughters room 5 minutes later and she looks in tears.  She asks did mommy say no.  I tell her of course not she just had me bring the kisses up for her and I tuck her back in.  She is all smiles and I walk away so terribly sad.  Oh our daughter is 2.5 years old.

So so sad.

[fromheeltoheal]

That is very sad; good thing your daughter has you.

Couldn't help thinking maybe that's how your daughter's mother was treated by her mother, and that kind of treatment can be the genesis of BPD.  Keep loving that little girl man, break the cycle.

[Knowingishalf]

Saddest part is her parent adore her, her mother is the sweetest person ever, they are her adopted parents though.  A lot of the time she despises them... .

[fromheeltoheal]

How old was she when she was adopted?

[hopealways]

long story short, I was putting our daughter to bed since I am the only one that can do this.  I tuck her in and give her extra kisses to help her make it through the night.  She asks me to tell her mommy she needs extra kisses from her too.  I tell her I will go ask and she tells me she can't say no. 

I go tell her mother what she said, she doesn't even reply, apparently I disturbed TV time.  Long story short she doesn't get up.  I feel awful and I go back to our daughters room 5 minutes later and she looks in tears.  She asks did mommy say no.  I tell her of course not she just had me bring the kisses up for her and I tuck her back in.  She is all smiles and I walk away so terribly sad.  Oh our daughter is 2.5 years old.

So so sad.

This is awful, and one of the biggest reasons I left my BPDex even though we don't have kids.  It's one thing trying to personally endure a relationship with someone mentally ill, it's another thing for me to think I would have kids with her and how my kids would suffer with this treatment by her.  I know I suffered because of the lack of love my own BPD mother had, and that is why I am here today. Thank you for sharing this, I know it was difficult for you.

[suffering_parent]

My wife would pull this kind of stuff all the time.   Rarely would participate in the kids bedtimes.   Kids would beg her to read a story and rarely happened.   She would rarely sit down and eat a meal with us.   

They are just messed up and lack true love for anyone, but themselves.   The world revolves around them, and if it isn't they will cause some kind of upheaval to make sure it does.

[LetItBe]

[ I know I suffered because of the lack of love my own BPD mother had, and that is why I am here today.

Yes, the lack of care and consideration for others is sometimes downright startling.  Like hopealways, I suffered because of my uBPDm, and I am certain that is why I am here today, too.   

I am SO glad your daughter has you!  Your daughter has a chance at a healthy, happy future because of you!