Don't show diamonds to a robber...

[isseeu]

... .these were the words my T shared with me to think about tonight. 

I'm coming up on four months post break-up... .my unBPDex boyfriend ended things suddenly, in an unexplainable and first-time rage... .after 2.5 loving years (with all the red flags flying in the breeze... .but I didn't recognize them at the time).

Since then, I've been sending sporadic texts that are kind, a photo of friends here and there... .all in an attempt to bring light into his life (which I suspect is very very dark right now) and to try to keep him from "forgetting me."  All with the hope of having him connect back in some way.  He doesn't.

I wanted to share this with you.  For some reason, these words resonated with me.

Loads of warm thoughts and wishes out there to everyone...  

[Learning_curve74]

 

[Accepting]

During recycles in the past I did the same... .pix of beautiful moments from my day or nice, positive thoughts. Sometimes it reached him, often it was met with silence. I couldn't believe the lack of consistency in his replies or acknowledgements - this of course was back when I suspected something but had no idea of BPD.

For me now, I just try to really enjoy these moments for myself... .and I keep them all to myself since deleting all contact numbers for him. If I really want to share something I share with a friend or family member.

[Lady31]

I like that one.  The Bible has a pretty interesting one too.

Matthew 7:6

King James Version

Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.

rend = tear

New International Version

Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.

It also makes many references regarding fools - and how like a dog they return to their vomit.  I struggled a long time because I couldn't stop going back for more.  It's hard to break that tie and addiction.

But when you do... .it's ONLY uphill from there.

[goldylamont]

Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.

wow, i love this Lady31!

isseeu, we all understand your pain in this. but i think your therapist and others are correct. from what i can tell, once a BPD flips that switch and takes off, they only are there to try to hurt you more. they don't deserve any of our kindness (even though we really want to give it, and get some in return). my ex would show off both the loving and the hateful texts that her bf after me sent her to her friends and laugh at him--it's just cruel and they don't deserve the attention.

i think the best policy that a lot of people do--write this stuff, write it down or type it out... .but DO NOT send it! write it all out nice or mean, because it is healing for you to do so. But don't send this stuff to them--they are not worthy of it.

if only you could see the things that other ex's of his sent him when in the same position i think it would be easier to stop. i saw all kinds of "i still love you!" texts from my exBPDgf's exbf--i feel sorry for him now, and so glad i didn't do so much of the same.

take care! and write but don't send! :-)