it's ok that hearing about your ex still affects you some, i would just take this opportunity to do the same work that helped you heal thus far and keep doing it.
i think you're getting into dangerous territory though by comparing yourself to some other random guy. the problem is that you are giving her loopy way of thinking far too much credit. the guy may be a douche. at the same time he could actually be a really nice guy. maybe he's really trying to straighten himself out and thinks he's found a partner to build that with. who knows? point is, it's a losing battle trying to compare yourself to this guy, because really the question is "why did she leave me and then would be happy with someone like him?" and, the answer to this question is impossible to know! we don't know what they are thinking! and why would we want to? it smells like poo to me, you know?
i don't think you should beat yourself up for reacting or thinking about these things. just make sure you're not judging a guy you've never met, and also realize that you don't really need to understand what/why she's doing what she's doing. b/c you've done the research and soul searching and growth--you already *know* why.
