Taking care of the BPD's elderly parents

[FigureIt]

When I met my BPDbf his mother had just had a heart attack so naturally I made some meals, checked on them etc. during that time.  Over the past 3 years my BPDbf's father has been diagnosed with Alzheimers and his mother has had another heart attack this past June. 

His mother is still working at 84 and refuses to give up her job as a lunch time aide at a local school.  His father who doesn't remember much, is still driving.  I got the websites and info. for my BPDbf & his family regarding Alzheimers groups etc., but no one has done anymore.

Over the summer when I was off I did help take his parents to a few doctors appts.  I also went and made his father meals or dropped them off while his mother was in the hospital in June. 

His mom has been doing well and I don't go over or call that often.  I am the one that puts on all holiday meals and most b-day ones for the family.  My BPDbf also has a sister who is 60yrs. old and lives in the area too.

Recently, my BPDbf has been stating that I'm not doing enough for his parents, etc.  My reply is that they have 2 children who live here that need to look in on them.  His reply was he works 60hrs. a week and his sister (who is ALL DRAMA) works 3 jobs (which are all part-time).

I don't feel I should be responsible or take on the responsibilty of taking care, checking in, etc. of their parents.  Neither him or his sister seem to really want to step up, unless their is a crisis situation like a heart attack or his father is lost, etc.

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[briefcase]

This is a boundary issue.  It sounds like you are about maxed out on the help you are willing to provide to his parents right now, especially in light of what he and his sister are doing.  This is your boudary - you can choose to do as much or little for his parents as you want.  I recommend using SET to communicate your limits to him on this issue.