Why do some BPD crave commitment immediately and others run from it?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I have read where some pwBPD will commit and want to be married almost immediately while others make excuses from the beginning as to why it won't work out. Does it have something to do with their comorbid makeup?  I am just curious because the exgf married the guy before me (she said it was so he could become a legal citizen but who really knows) but never in 3 years of working with before we date did she admit this, only saying they were engaged.  The entire 3 years we dated she was still "officially" married because he was dragging his feet on the paperwork to become legal and then the paperwork to divorce.  He moved on from her and has been dating a woman for 2 years.  :)o some want to be married at all cost and others realize that they have "issues" and distance themselves from "permanent" ties?  My ex was very intent on buying her own place, holding a job and doing all the other things that made her independent.

[Waifed]

I have read where some pwBPD will commit and want to be married almost immediately while others make excuses from the beginning as to why it won't work out. Does it have something to do with their comorbid makeup?  I am just curious because the exgf married the guy before me (she said it was so he could become a legal citizen but who really knows) but never in 3 years of working with before we date did she admit this, only saying they were engaged.  The entire 3 years we dated she was still "officially" married because he was dragging his feet on the paperwork to become legal and then the paperwork to divorce.  He moved on from her and has been dating a woman for 2 years.  :)o some want to be married at all cost and others realize that they have "issues" and distance themselves from "permanent" ties?  My ex was very intent on buying her own place, holding a job and doing all the other things that made her independent.

[Learning_curve74]

Hey Waifed, just like you and I are different, people with BPD can be different too. The main symptoms may be the same, but they don't all behave exactly the same, as you may realize from reading about the waifs, queens, etc. No doubt any comorbid psychological issues can affect their behavior as well.

I don't think her behavior is any reflection on you. Her issues are her issues, don't make them your issues. I know it's frustrating and annoying to feel like What the heck about their behavior, but even if you totally understood, it's not like you can do anything about it right? Take care of yourself.