Today is the day

[5keepers]

Somewhat of a lurker here for a year or so now. I did all I could to make it work with her. 110%. We divorced in April but I stayed in the home until last week basically just hanging on and hoping. Things got no better. She recently found a good job, her kids (my step kids), are now grown, and I'm not feeling guilty. Today is my last day at work and I'm moving back home to a neighboring state tonight. Her pity texts still make me tear up until I remember the bad, bad times. Once again I will be leaning on the BPD family for support. Ugh. I feel relieved and not relieved at the same time if that's even possible.

[Mcgddss]

Thinking of you - I am in the divorce process right now and he (upbdh) can't understand the boundaries I am setting.

I think the move is a great boundary for you and the feeling of relief will be huge once you finish taking this step.

[heartandwhole]

Hi Skeepers,

This is a really big step, so the conflicting feelings are really understandable.  You are courageous to move and start a new life.  I know for me, being in a new environment helps tremendously with letting go of the past. 

You can now start fresh, knowing that you gave the relationship your all.  Although I know it hurts to let go, that is a good place to be. 

[Learning_curve74]

Hi Skeepers, I totally identify with having those conflicting feelings you're having.

Change, even for the better, is often scary. But it's still for the better, right?

Safe travels to you tonight as well as on the journey ahead. 

[Love Is Not Enough]

Relieved and not relieved makes perfect sense to probably just about all of us reading your post. Stay strong and have a safe trip. I am happy that you have taken a stand for yourself.

Are you going NC? It might be a good idea to block her number so that you do not have to agonize over anymore of those manipulative pity texts. That way you can focus on more important things. Like starting your new and exciting life!