Silent treatment over... Now not sure if that was a good thing or not

[seh77]

Going on from my previous post this week… (look at it for the back story).  My dBPDgf has finally decided to talk to me.  She tried blaming me for not talking.  I pointed out to her that she was the one that chose to not talk.  I tried talking/texting you name it and had no response.  I was cordial and let her know what was going on as far as if I was picking up things for the house and my s/16 practice schedule. 

So the conversation turned from her thinking it was ridiculous that my son and I got home at 10:45 that night after his wresting match to she doesn’t get to co-parent with him.  I explained that she can Co-parent but that means supporting him and disciplining as well.  Not just disciplining because that’s all I see.  She has been to 2 games in the last two years.  She always has an excuse as to why she can’t go.  Then after I pointed that out, she asked if it was too much to eat at the table 2 a week.  I said no but you want to eat so early because of your daughter that I can’t get home that early.  Anyways it went on and on like that for a while.  I was still hurting from her being mad because I was supporting my Son and she couldn’t see why I was so upset.  I blurted out that she’s not happy unless everyone does exactly what she wants.  Well that hit a nerve and she turned stomped up the steps and went out on the back porch for the rest of the night.

I woke up this morning and found a note under the bedroom door stating: (sorry I’m long winded)

Short condensed version:  She knew when we first met that I was the one….

4.5 years later and she’s broken hearted because when she came to talk she felt like I had enough time to think about things and cool off.    What she got was a lot of anger, hate resentment, and hostility.  She felt like we could work on anything only if we talked with a common goal in mind. 

What she see’s is that we are at an impass.  Not because we don’t agree on things but because I feel that she’s selfish and has to have her way.  She assured me if I knew her heart it would be different. 

Blah blah blah blah blah…. Now she back to saying that she will no longer be a burden to me or my son.

My question is how do I react to that?  How do I not let this get me upset?  I feel like crap, haven’t slept hardly all week.   It seems everything I do or try blows back in my face.  I can’t keep doing this.  My son has even asked why she is so negative with him all of the time.  I can’t keep him in this environment if it continues.

Please help…

:'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(

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[seh77]

UPDATE:  She is now saying in short that she is leaving me and not to tell her parents or her X who shares custody of their daughter/6.

What am I supposed to do ?  React to that Not react?  It really hurts me everytime she does this.  And to think this all started because I went to my Son's wrestling Match.

I'm falling apart... .

[Grey Kitty]

  That is so tough to hear.

What are you supposed to do?

First things first, take care of your son. (And keep going to wrestling matches!)

Second thing, try to work on not JADEing as much when you talk to your gf

Third thing: I wouldn't tell anybody that she says she is leaving--let her tell them if she wants to--This isn't an action, it is either a threat or a plan. (If she actually does move out, then go ahead and tell people that it matters to, don't keep it secret for her benefit.)

And lastly, don't argue with her about what you are thinking or feeling. If she says something like "because I feel that she’s selfish and has to have her way." Just do two things: First, as quietly/gently as you can tell her that you aren't thinking that, and Second, tell her that you won't argue/fight/discuss with her what she believes you are thinking.