My nightmare Last night - need support to keep me away from her.

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I am now posting on this board because I am certain it is over.  My goal is to end it permanently and take care of myself and my kids.  She has been sending me texts ( I just blocked her) apologizing for last night where she blew up at my son and lost control of her anger.

My BPD ex went into my 15 year old teenage son's bedroom to force his participation to sing happy birthday to me.  My son will not come out when she is at the house because he is uncomfortable around her.  When she went into his room, he asked her respectfully 5 times to leave the room and she refused to leave and started screaming at him and took his xbox away.  My son called his father and said he would not live with me anymore with her here.  My younger 13 year old daughter saw my BPD ex screaming at my son and was very upset.  I asked my BPD ex to leave and she would not.  My BPD ex proceeded to say she was worried about my safety and my son's safety, when she was the one that was bullying my son.

My entire household was up late last night because of her and my kids are still recovering.  She is trying to get back with me now, sending me nice texts telling me she cares about me deeply.  I need the support of this board to keep me away from her.

And she has all my kids xmas gifts too.  I am letting that go because my safety is more important.

[recoverynow]

I am now posting on this board because I am certain it is over.  My goal is to end it permanently and take care of myself and my kids.  She has been sending me texts ( I just blocked her) apologizing for last night where she blew up at my son and lost control of her anger.

My BPD ex went into my 15 year old teenage son's bedroom to force his participation to sing happy birthday to me.  My son will not come out when she is at the house because he is uncomfortable around her.  When she went into his room, he asked her respectfully 5 times to leave the room and she refused to leave and started screaming at him and took his xbox away.  My son called his father and said he would not live with me anymore with her here.  My younger 13 year old daughter saw my BPD ex screaming at my son and was very upset.  I asked my BPD ex to leave and she would not.  My BPD ex proceeded to say she was worried about my safety and my son's safety, when she was the one that was bullying my son.

My entire household was up late last night because of her and my kids are still recovering.  She is trying to get back with me now, sending me nice texts telling me she cares about me deeply.  I need the support of this board to keep me away from her.

And she has all my kids xmas gifts too.  I am letting that go because my safety is more important.

[Perfidy]

Wow... The function of dysfunction. I really don't envy you in the least. That has got to be one of the worst situations possible. I feel for you.    you gotta put the flames out my friend. Do whatever is necessary to keep her away until this blows over. After she calms down then you gotta make a decision. Do you want this? If so tell her she needs to address her anger issues and give her a year. I wouldn't try to live with her. Just watch her for a year or so and see if she improves. If you don't want this then you gotta break it off. The cleaner the better. By clean I mean zero contact. Make your parting gestures and stat completely away from her. I know it's tough. 

[recoverynow]

Thank you for support.  I don't know what it is in me wanting to go back to her and make her feel better after she was so belligerent last night.  I blocked her from communication with me.  But I guess I will need to take it one day at a time or one second at a time or whatever it takes to get through this. 

[recoverynow]

And I am affirmatively decided that this is not acceptable and I will not go back to her.     Trying to avoid recycling the relationship and keep away from her.  This is tough but I am doing it for myself and my kids.

[Take2]

It's wildly tough when you know inside that this person is damaging you... .  then involving your children obviously takes it to another level.  You KNOW you need this person out of your life, out of their lives.  But it's so mind blowing when they can do something SO hurtful that you know it's crossed a line and then a little while later you find yourself missing them and feeling sorry for them... .  been there... .  multiple lines crossed.  BIG lines. 

I don't know your story so I don't know how many recycles you have been through... .but from experience I can tell you that it does get worse.  Each time a little more... .  because every time you go back, you accept that treatment.  And that means, you might accept more.  And each time I allowed anything that he did to me, the next time got worse. 

If you decide you do decide you want her to be in your life, and that's a decision only you can make, then you need to set boundaries of what is acceptable.  I agree it is one second at a time... .for me too!