Denying Reality Once Again

[Turkish]

I have noticed her engaging more with the kids, especially in the past two weeks. In August and Sept, she was somewhere else, mentally, utterly disengaged, barely keeping it together. She's "better" now (for a time).

I told her last night that it was good that she was spending more time with the kids, more than I thought in the last 8 months, and it was good for her and them. She replied, "you make it seem like I wasn't spending time with them!" I was tempted to go into pointing out her behaviors, the story a lot of you know, but I just shook my head and walked away. Engagement in that conversation would be pointless. I was tempted to tell her that I record everything daily in written form, and have record of it, but held myself back (no use saying that... .and she might start doing it to me). Sometimes I think any conversation is pointless. I thought I was being supportive and honest, but I guess in her mind I was calling her a bad mom (even though she's said this about herself!). An argument takes the form of an object and a subject. Remove one, and there is no argument.

[Mutt]

Engagement in that conversation would be pointless.

Exactly.

I've read that they will deny their behaviors/actions even if a recorded playback is played to them.

Good job with taking the high road and not spilling the beans with your documenting everything.

[love4meNOTu]

Turkish-

I just want to applaud you for walking away. It takes a lot of strength to do that. There were so many times I wanted my exhwBPD to hear me... .it was just futile.

I've finally accepted that. It's futile.

You are a strong man. My last few weeks with exhwBPD in the house nearly broke me. I still can't understand how I did it (oh yea, ... .someone up there had my back). 

You are going to get through this. Please take care of yourself. Enjoy your kiddoes.

Blessings,

L

[Turkish]

Turkish-

I just want to applaud you for walking away. It takes a lot of strength to do that. There were so many times I wanted my exhwBPD to hear me... .it was just futile.

I've finally accepted that. It's futile.

You are a strong man. My last few weeks with exhwBPD in the house nearly broke me. I still can't understand how I did it (oh yea, ... .someone up there had my back). 

You are going to get through this. Please take care of yourself. Enjoy your kiddoes.

Blessings,

L

Or I was a coward and didn't want drama? Naw. I'm no longer walking on eggshells around her. Its more the other way around. This could go on for another month... .I realize it is I that needs to keep the peace. When the few opportunities come up to say something I do though. I just didn't feel like it last night. This close to christmas too. I just want peace for christmas. Nothing else.

[love4meNOTu]

You want peace? You got it.

Prayer sent. May turkish and his children have a wonderful Christmas, regardless of what wwBPD does.

And no you aren't a coward, takes more strength to keep your reactions inside and under control than it does to just let them fly. Besides, that's what our pwBPD do.

Hugs,

L

[Turkish]

You want peace? You got it.

Prayer sent. May turkish and his children have a wonderful Christmas, regardless of what wwBPD does.

And no you aren't a coward, takes more strength to keep your reactions inside and under control than it does to just let them fly. Besides, that's what our pwBPD do.

Hugs,

L

 Thanks, L. I  think it will be ok.  it's more my inner turmoil.  we plan to spend the day with the kids tomorrow,  then ill do my own thing at night... . every prayer helps!