Thank god the holidays are over and normal days again can resume.

[huhhuh]

It has been an awful holiday. Starting in the days after Christmas with some terrible events that I wish to keep private for the board (for the moment). But the events kept unfolding and I was very concerned about her safety, so I contacted her on a text message to hear if she was ok. To my big surprise she actually replied. Conversation was kept in a level that only revolved about the tragic event.

The thing I find interesting is that I forgot to sign my name on the text, but she must have known it was from me because she replied to my email (instead of text). It means she still have my contact details on both the phone and on the computer. I would have sworn that I was painted black and she had me blocked and deleted for good.

I also find it interesting that she actually replies when it matters a non-emotional thing, but didn't reply or got angry when I asked specific things about our relationship after being discarded. Or when I recently asked her why she suddenly is married.

New Year evening was very hard to go through. It marks the one year day of me being replaced. I had hoped I could go through the evening but I got more and more depressed and I had to take a couple of sleeping pills and go to bed early before the fireworks.

Today the 1st is better... . still a little depression but also a little hope because now the worst days are over.

[heartandwhole]

huhhuh,

Glad today feels better than yesterday.    I wish you healing and peaceful new start to 2014. 

[iluminati]

FWIW, in my experience, people with BPD do best with very specific and defined tasks.  Of course, some of them may turn out to be triggers, but you have a better shot communicating about that then with obviously emotional situations.

Still, I do wish you peace in this new year, as us nons all need it.

[santa]

Next up: Valentine's Day

[huhhuh]

Next up: Valentine's Day

haha yeah. And birthdays ... . and anniversaries.

Naaah... For me New Year was the big trigger. The others doesn't trigger me so much. Well. I don't think they do. I'll know when I get there