The good, the bad, and the ugly.

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Try trying to pass a bar exam while dealing with a BPD doing her crazy making everyday and having to take care of a newborn.

I'm sure you'll find another job.

My mind imploded at that prospect.

As far as the really beautiful Hindu princess I mentioned in the other thread, I have stayed away from going further in depth with her. I couldn't bring myself to do anything. She would talk to me, her eyes would light up, play with her hair; and I would just shut down. She will have to find another job too.

 

     Talk to her about starting a small business together. I can see it now - "The Ironman and The Princess - Art Supplies and Relationship Counselling". 

 Thanks for the chuckle man. I needed that.

[Ironmanrises]

Try trying to pass a bar exam while dealing with a BPD doing her crazy making everyday and having to take care of a newborn.

I'm sure you'll find another job.

My mind imploded at that prospect.

As far as the really beautiful Hindu princess I mentioned in the other thread, I have stayed away from going further in depth with her. I couldn't bring myself to do anything. She would talk to me, her eyes would light up, play with her hair; and I would just shut down. She will have to find another job too.

 

     Talk to her about starting a small business together. I can see it now - "The Ironman and The Princess - Art Supplies and Relationship Counselling". 

 Thanks for the chuckle man. I needed that.

[allweareisallweare]

IMF glad that the art has returned. I am very interested in seeing your work if possible - do you have a Flickr or somewhere they can be viewed? I am ready to begin painting myself, despite having never.


Sad that your store has relocated. I am in a tough tough situation work-wise indeed myself, you we will be hand-in-hand  - empathy is lost on borderlines since they find it difficult to contextualise any situation where they are not in control - and the sacrificial 'knowing how someone feels' is really not something I saw a sniff of, so what I am saying is, the BPD ex would be no use at all in this situation - they'd probably no doubt see the jobhunt as a way of shifting the focus off them and that would likely trigger the BPD acting out - as I say, they don't care, we do. 

[Perfidy]

I love art IMF. I'm an artist. I paint, draw, music, life. I love art. I'm good at art.

I've heard that we artists are prone to depression.


Tell me your thoughts

[santa]

I love art IMF. I'm an artist. I paint, draw, music, life. I love art. I'm good at art.

I've heard that we artists are prone to depression.


Tell me your thoughts

I'm not an artist, but I do have an opinion on the matter. I think anyone who takes the time to be introspective is going to deal with some depression. I know art involves sort of introspective thinking. Any time you examine yourself closely, you're going to find things about yourself and your actions that you aren't happy about or faults within yourself. I think it's healthy to some extent.

[Ironmanrises]

IMF glad that the art has returned. I am very interested in seeing your work if possible - do you have a Flickr or somewhere they can be viewed? I am ready to begin painting myself, despite having never.


Sad that your store has relocated. I am in a tough tough situation work-wise indeed myself, you we will be hand-in-hand  - empathy is lost on borderlines since they find it difficult to contextualise any situation where they are not in control - and the sacrificial 'knowing how someone feels' is really not something I saw a sniff of, so what I am saying is, the BPD ex would be no use at all in this situation - they'd probably no doubt see the jobhunt as a way of shifting the focus off them and that would likely trigger the BPD acting out - as I say, they don't care, we do. 

If the moderator's allow(I sketch people's faces so I don't think this is allowed on here), I can PM you some pics of my artwork. I have never painted, let the artwork flow! I agree on the shift focusing away from them, I am sorry you are experiencing same tough situation work wise. An added weight to the burden we must carry as it is. Hang in there. 

I love art IMF. I'm an artist. I paint, draw, music, life. I love art. I'm good at art.

I've heard that we artists are prone to depression.


Tell me your thoughts

I'm not an artist, but I do have an opinion on the matter. I think anyone who takes the time to be introspective is going to deal with some depression. I know art involves sort of introspective thinking. Any time you examine yourself closely, you're going to find things about yourself and your actions that you aren't happy about or faults within yourself. I think it's healthy to some extent.

Perfidy,

I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder(a mental illness) after my first suicide attempt in 2009. I stumbled into art during my second stint in a psych ward(30 days) following my second suicide attempt in 2010, my lowest point in life. My artwork helped me crawl out of that deep dark abyss. I consider myself very introspective. An introvert. Are us artists prone to depression? Yes. For me, it is literally where I found my art. Glad to know you are an artist yourself.

Santa,

Spot on with your assessment. 

[allweareisallweare]

I love art IMF. I'm an artist. I paint, draw, music, life. I love art. I'm good at art.

I've heard that we artists are prone to depression.


Tell me your thoughts

I'm not an artist, but I do have an opinion on the matter. I think anyone who takes the time to be introspective is going to deal with some depression. I know art involves sort of introspective thinking. Any time you examine yourself closely, you're going to find things about yourself and your actions that you aren't happy about or faults within yourself. I think it's healthy to some extent.

Fundamentally, anyone who has any creative leaning whatsoever is expressive. They are able to take thought (ideas, emotions, feelings) and turn it into something else, something tangible. I think that journey can bring up some pitfalls. I think to be intelligent (creativity as expression as described is intelligence IMO) in a world which somehow always seems to gear to the opposite is hard and frustrating. I write myself prolifically, and have some ideas for paintings.

I don't have any evidence, to link it back to BPD, that my ex was either creative or expressive, since you'd need basic tenets for that, i.e commitment, hard work, dedication and she had no notion of what that means. You also have to believe in yourself rather that just deferring to some third party or source. BPD is about seeing yourself in other people and having no self-awareness. BPD is about distortion - taking somebody's good intentions and making it out like they are doing harm or wrong; sex as love, etc - whereas art and creativity is about expression - not the 'truth' but of human experience in a reasonable and valid perspective.

I'm not saying that someone with BPD can do it, can be creative, expressive etc but my one worry is that they generally lack empathy the same way a songbird has a song, so to lack, say, empathy, is to have a big grey area. If you're not empathetic you're not capable of introspection since you can't say: "I know because I feel/have felt it, so I know what you're feeling" and, as I say, to be BPD is to have little or no self-awareness and in my humble opinion to be self aware, to see him or herself, "to thineself be true" is all-important for the artist.

I'm always interested in triumph over adversity - I think that art often is created is such struggles - and to be a BPD-survivor is just one of of the battles I face as I create - although my writing will never be more than obliquely, vaguely referential to such an experience.

[huhhuh]

Hi IMF

Prepare yourself for hard times, both emotional and financial incase the job search takes longer time than expected.

I know you are firm on keeping "no contact" and my opinion is that now it is more crucial than ever to keep no contact. You might find yourself down in the time between jobs, but remember that you cannot get the emotional support from your exBPD. Most likely she will only devaluate you because they hate when you get sick or going through problems in life.

Keep strong