I posted earlier that I was struggling with thoughts of my ex consuming my head.
It's been only 4 + months but some things just seem to keep me stuck...
The fact that my ex could lie and cheat on me ... . Then walk away without a thought... . well that just seems to be hard for me to comprehend.
The fact that she could move on and not even feel anything... .
I just cannot wrap my head around that... .
I know they are wired different ... . or emotionally like a child ... .
All of a sudden tonight ... . it's just so upsetting to me... .
Like where did this come from... .
Today has just been the worst day so far... .
Angry sad confused... .
Does anyone feel like this sometimes... .
I feel like I gave so much of myself... . and they can just turn and go... .
I just have to vent
Today has been so difficult... . :'(
I completely understand you. After a time of what I thought was normal functioning I got smacked big time down to my knees. Nothing made any sense to me. Someone could throw me aside like trash... . I loved my gf very much, tried to understand her issues and where she was coming from, dealt with issues as they arose, and so on. But? When I began to speak up and express my own desires in the face of always being there for her, it all fell apart. I nursed her from hardly being able to walk when we met to now being a marathon runner! My usefulness is now over... .
Days go by and then BAM, I'm inconsolable, but it passes and usually I can get to the bottom of my feelings being stirred up. I too suffer from abandonment issues and care taking too.
But? I also know a lot wasn't about me and I'm trying to adjust my sails and move on.
Keep writing, it helps everyone here, big hugs
CiF
