How long was your receipt of silent treatment?

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

I was just curious for those who received silent treatment from their ex or current partners with BPD, what was the longest timeframe they did this to you?  And were you living separate or together?  So far mine is into 6 weeks and all I asked for was some space and we were having an argument that was ridiculous.  I even sent an email saying "if you do not want to ever hear from me again just say so in a one line email saying that." Still nothing.  I must say though after 6 weeks of really being ignored, I have experienced some detachment although it hurt like hell at first.

I think part of why I am being given this treatment also is I asked for space and he then spoke to me on the phone for 2 hours (after 1 week of space) saying he wanted to take me to lunch the next day and loved me, etc.  Then next day I heard he had moved on from someone and I decided to ask him.  Knowing he has BPD I was calm when I called him.  He was fine until I stated "I heard this from so and so that you had moved on with a girl named X."  And he got angry and defensive and yelled "I am ceasing communication and you were never anything to me and we were never anything." Hang up.  We were living each at our own places.

I know BPD people tend to recycle but I cannot imagine even going back to him after NC and being ignored for many weeks on end. It seems even odd they would reach out after silent treatment.

Anyways just curious as to others' experiences with silent treatment.

[barbwire911]

I was just curious for those who received silent treatment from their ex or current partners with BPD, what was the longest timeframe they did this to you?  And were you living separate or together?  So far mine is into 6 weeks and all I asked for was some space and we were having an argument that was ridiculous.  I even sent an email saying "if you do not want to ever hear from me again just say so in a one line email saying that." Still nothing.  I must say though after 6 weeks of really being ignored, I have experienced some detachment although it hurt like hell at first.

I think part of why I am being given this treatment also is I asked for space and he then spoke to me on the phone for 2 hours (after 1 week of space) saying he wanted to take me to lunch the next day and loved me, etc.  Then next day I heard he had moved on from someone and I decided to ask him.  Knowing he has BPD I was calm when I called him.  He was fine until I stated "I heard this from so and so that you had moved on with a girl named X."  And he got angry and defensive and yelled "I am ceasing communication and you were never anything to me and we were never anything." Hang up.  We were living each at our own places.

I know BPD people tend to recycle but I cannot imagine even going back to him after NC and being ignored for many weeks on end. It seems even odd they would reach out after silent treatment.

Anyways just curious as to others' experiences with silent treatment.

[restoredsight]

We were together, long distance, for about 8 months, lived together for 4, then broke up. She begged me to stay in her life, dropped me off at a friend's house and I didn't hear from her again for 7 months. Then we were together for 2.5 years.

And not for nothing, but I have a friend who lives with an ex of hers. She contacted him after about four years of silence just a few weeks back.

[jynx]

I was married for 25 years when I finally left.  The last year together, he "ran away"  from home for 1/2 the year.  The rest of the time he was home, and he either didn't speak to me at all or raged at me for all but 37 days of that year.

He initially started "running away" from home for just a weekend, then it went into  three months at a time.  He would just show up again at home, and he would start again, because I was upset.  His reasoning was ----- well, we haven't been fighting for the last 3 months, don't you ever let things go?

[kfifd196]

My wife split me DEEP black on Feb. 4th.  If it wasn't for our daughter, I don't think I'd hear from her unless she flipped back or something.  Last she said, she wished I was dead, wished she never met me, said I ruined her life, said I was the worst relationship she ever had, etc.  I was only seeing her, when I picked up or dropped off our daughter.  Now, to distance further, she filed a false restraining order, so I haven't seen her or my daughter for 3 weeks.  I'm curious how our 1st meeting will be, once the order is lifted.  The order SPECIFICALLY says, I can't talk to her about anything, but our daughter!  As silent as she can make it... . Hope I was able to help... .

[arn131arn]

From March 2013 to August 2013

I didn't even though it was abuse

And I believed I deserved it

That's how low and undesirable i felt

6 months! But I was abusive

I was capable enough to color in coloring books, that's how useful I was to myself, and I doubt I could stay in the lines

[arn131arn]

From March 2013 to August 2013

I didn't even though it was abuse

And I believed I deserved it

That's how low and undesirable i felt

6 months! But I was abusive

I was capable enough to color in coloring books, that's how useful I was to myself, and I doubt I could stay in the lines

[blissful_camper]

During the r/s his silent treatment lasted 3 or 4 days.  We lived separately.  Silent treatment is devastating.  I will never allow anyone to treat me that way again. 

[Split black]

Ive been ignored for 5 weeks... . after being split black 4 times... . I think this is forever. Shes back with her original bf of 4 years. I was with her for about a year... . while she cheated constantly.

[TXwoman]

Well, let's see... . Currently it's been a month with no end in sight!   We have been married for 32 years!  I have educated myself over the course of the last 7-8 years about his uBPD!  I have a very good job, he does too, and he travels so he's gone Sun eve to Thurs evening since 1996!   This is the only reason we have stayed together this long.  He has pulled this silent rage crap on me for YEARS!   Early on it devastated me and I would crawl back to him, cry, not go out to events or be with friends because i let him make me believe that his behavior was a result of something I had said or done!   Now our 4 kids are all grown, I am successful and I have learned about setting boundaries.  When he ignores me- I ignore him right back, I happily go on with MY life.  I have become very adept at playing HIS game!  I allow him to look like the insolent 2 year old to our friends and our kids.  It only hurts him, not me.   It's how I choose to deal with it that I have control over.   I know I don't (and can't) control his behavior and how he chooses to interpret things, but I can control my behavior, my psyche and how I interpret things.   I speak to him as if nothing is wrong, he answers in his one word answers.   I just go along on my merry way.   I go back and forth on whether I want to keep this up, but he is awesome when he is not dysregulating.   He can be wonderful and very sweet.  So I am a classic example of taking the good with the bad.  When things are bad, I know that at some point they will be good again.  However, the flip side is that at some point when things are good, I start preparing myself for when the hit will hit the fan again.   We don't really have the yelling/ screaming fights anymore because I simply don't listen to him and I don't allow myself to engage anymore.   I have learned so much over the years from the people on these boards.  It helps to know what others have learned, endured, tried, what works, etc.