Check out this condescending email from my ex-wife

[expos]

Reading this, you can see the condescending tone and hate.  This letter comes from my ex-wife, 7 months after our divorce who when assisting me with obtain some financial documents she had, decides to write this letter three days after my last correspondence with her when I asked to see our dog, (that she gave to her parents)

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XXXX,

You're welcome on the banking stuff.  Hope that's what you need - but I think they'll get you covered.

As discussed the night that we did our taxes, I think that we need to agree to discontinue communication, which includes the dog.  When we divorced, you graciously agreed to let me have the dog and you know that I do, and will continue to, take great care of her.  She will always be in good hands - and she is well.

I wish you the best but believe that for both of us, it's time to agree that we no longer have a need to communicate or keep in contact.  We no longer have any reason to be in touch.

I ask that you do not reply to this email, as this will be my final communication and I do not want a reply.

All the best and good luck with your new job -

xxxxxxxx

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The way she talks down to me like child was irritating enough... . but the rejection still stings to this day.  Did I want to remain friends? Absolutely not.  But this letter gives me a good idea of who she really was.   I was nothing but good to this woman after our divorce. 

[mapys]

I don't know - but to me this e-mail seemed kind of formal, detached, neutral - I don't know (didn't find it hateful). It is hard to say to someone else - don't think about it, but you shouldn't. What is done is done. Try to find peace within yourself.

[LettingGo14]

Expos - I completely empathize with the pain that comes after a receiving a letter like that.   I heard a similar, "goodbye, don't contact me again... . this is the last time you will hear from me."   

It still hurts when I think about it.

But, here's the thing that I have learned - albeit painfully, at times - "detachment leads to freedom."    Others encouraged me to "feel the feelings" and begin the five stages of detachment.

What are you doing to take care of yourself? 

[Aussie0zborn]

I feel its very formal and as an outsider don't see that it's disrespectful in any way. You will interpret it differently. I guess this goes to show that what we feel through the abuse is not easily translated to others giving us that feeling of futility as we try to explain the devastating effects of BPD, often to no avail.

I had to let go of a dog once and forget about it. I heard she locked the dog in her bedroom when she went out. I felt sorry for that dog but I wasn't going to let it put me in a position where I would have to beg to see it.

At least she wished you well in your new job. That's way more than I'd expect. Onwards and upwards my friend!