She's flunked inpatient twice: Guess who is at fault for that?

[gary seven]

She is desperate to be home, and she has managed to weasel out of two inpatient stays.  "You didn't support me on being discharged... . " blah-blah-blah.  Yeah, it's my fault again.


So I sat down with her folks the other night after discharge #2 ( they have dropped everything to be here) and told them that the choice is hers:  either she enroll in a locally well respected outpatient facility on whatever level they assign (residential, partial hospitalization or intense outpatient), or they can set her up in a local apartment for her to live separated from me and the kids. 

I don't feel like throwing any more money down the drain: literally and figuratively.

After a bad phone interview with the facility (they got to hear the real her)  she was able to complete an in person interview the next day.  I did not go: her Dad did.

She is accepted to start this Wednesday. Minimum 60 days, 10am-4pm.  The "I can't do it" and "I need time on my own to get better," have already started. "What's wrong if I lay in bed all day?"  "It'll just take me a long time."

Right.  Good idea.  Ignore/refute all the medical and psychological professionals.  As a matter of fact, no one has ever though of such a novel approach.  Last time Pride cometh before the fall was the Titanic.  See how good they made out?


Then, to make matters worse, she flew into a rage tonight , in the presence of her girlfriend who was kind enough to take all 3 kids out to the movies today by herself (they has a blast), because there were piles of papers on her desk that had been moved. 

I thanked her friend for taking care of the kids and sent her home.  I then told the kids that Mommy's yelling, so let's us go out for a walk.  And the Kids and I did, leaving her inside by herself for about a half hour to calm down .  I told her parents to leave as well.  Her Mom actually went on a walk down our very long driveway--a first for her! 

I don't see her wanting to get herself well .  She likes the roles of judge, jury, and executioner too much. 

But I am not going to have the kids subjected this much longer.  It's Spring, so darn it, we'll get out of the house as she rages.  We go on the hunt for honeysuckles  and azaleas.

I have turned a small corner; the challenges are unknown, but I must detach.  This relationship has failed.

I have to face the facts, my kids need a chance to thrive and so do I.  It will be hard at first, but her permanent, medication -refractory (now we are up to #34 )dysregulation is not fixable, mutable, or worth loving any more.   There have been so many abuses dealt out , so many harsh punishments that it boggles the mind.

I have have been the deal-ee and punish-ee.  I can't even cry about it, it is such a strange this to live this kind of life.

Someone tell me this is a dream and would you please wake me up? 

[Mutt]

I then told the kids that Mommy's yelling, so let's us go out for a walk.  And the Kids and I did, leaving her inside by herself for about a half hour to calm down .

Did the kids witness mom raging? Or were they in another room, playing outside perhaps, you then grabbed them and went for a walk?

[gary seven]

Mutt:

She was yelling about the papers in our kitchen, right in front of all three kids, her girlfriend (who had the most horrified look on her face as if she was eating a lemon meringue pie with a pH of 2.0), and her parents.

That's when I simply said: Let's go.  Thanked the girlfriend and went on the walk with the kids.