It's not abandoning to leave a person who is unhealthy for you.

[TitaniumPhoebe]

I would always say my ex-husband's fear of abandonment was a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Who wants to stay with a person who is cruel and abusive?  

After him I started dating a new guy and I should have just run when he said he had a fear of abandonment, but I gave him a chance, and same thing.  He has these irrational and childish mood swings and I just couldn't take it and told him I don't want to see him anymore.  It's like they smother you and you just can't help but want to get away, not to mention all the sarcasm and pouting, etc.  

It's not abandoning to leave a person who is unhealthy for you.

[Mutt]

It's not abandoning to leave a person who is unhealthy for you.

What are your true feelings? Are you feeling, guilt?

[Turkish]

Abandonment to a pwBPD is reliving their core abandonment wound they experienced from their caregiver at 1-3 years of age. Transference of their feelings towards this person (or people in some cases, though the literature primarily focuses on mothers) is what they do to us nons. We become the proxy Parent for that infant attachment that was disordered.

In any long term r/s we nons engage in with a pwBPD, we become that proxy Parent, and we did it willingly. I realized it a year before my r/s began its exponential decay, "I'm her Father... . how did I get to this place, and why?"

The "why" is the only question which ultimately matters. Why did I want to be a Parent? Was it because I never had a father? Was it because my severely depressed mother has several borderline traits? Was it because I didn't feel worthy enough to choose better.so I settled for someone I thought would never leave me (but did, horribly)?

Congratulations for extricating yourself from playing out the script again. We can only really get an answer from looking at ourselves and our own script, and we do have one, else we wouldn't be here.