Hi all
I am a husband of a wife who is suspected BPD (or having traits). We are married for one year and half now and we had a very explosive episode two weeks ago, almost led to separation. She was suspected having BPD one year ago and has already started to see psychologist from three months ago, every another week. She had made improvements but this time the trigger was maybe too much for her to hold off. We decided to get back together last week and I will start to see my psychologist from next week to have better coping skills, as I have endured both verbal and physical abuse from her (two weeks ago being the most aggressive physical abuse and police was involved).
She also had serious issue with my parents and she thought they hate her. (e.g. she was very upset after saw my picture with my mum on the bookshelf and asked me to hide the photo to somewhere else).
They liked her but after all happened and have seen their only son abused in the marriage now they are very upset. They were even confronting my wife and asked us to divorce straight away.
Of course we love each other and she was high functioning, having a good job and a few friends and good personality when not having an episode. I have tried to set the boundary of not having any verbal or physical abuse, but to no avail. We are staying together and praying everyday hope God will help us to get recovered from all the damaged done in our marriage.
My wife recognizes her issue. After what happened two weeks ago, my wife has altered her attitude (at least according to her) and has been 'soften' on a few critical issues (my parents, life style). I hope this could be sustained, however when her mood switches or is triggered by some unforeseen event in the future I am still expecting a outburst and so I need to learn how to cope with it. I have also seen her lean towards the God a lot more than before, and we pray everyday and trust in God to look after us. I was inspired by the following video and comments (see John's and his wife comments).
www.counselingoneanother.com/2011/07/09/when-jesus-confronts-borderline-personality-disorder/A next critical issue is that my parents are moving to Australia next month and I will at least spend a couple of weeks even staying with them to help them settle. This is unimaginable/impossible for my wife before but now she seems ok with it. I also need to relieve my parents from worrying too much on my marriage - as aforementioned that they insist us to divorce which does not help the whole situation at all.
I have been reading threads here and found some are very useful. I really appreciate this and will continue to work hard on the marriage. Any comments are welcome.
Thank you
Phil
