Learning to cope with PTSD like symptoms - any suggestions?

[Finding Courage]

I have a mother who is uBPD and a combination of many other various disorders or at least disordered behavior.  While I didn't experience physical or sexual abuse, I did endure the daily emotional abuse of severe parentification and enmeshment.  The emotional aspects of my home life as a kid were very chaotic and unstable.  And my mom had absolutely no boundaries with me, I was her friend, therapist, etc.  I have very limited contact with my mom now, which is for the best.

I recently started seeing a new therapist who helped me see that all of the current emotional struggles I have are likely trauma (PTSD) related.  I am often triggered, overly sensitive, have emotional responses to things that have to do with my past and numerous other things.  I started reading a book about recovery from trauma and much of resonates with me.  This is all a step in the right direction, but it is still hard to cope with these triggers and realize the extent of my struggle.  I often still feel a lot of shame and self criticism too.   

What kinds of things have helped any of you cope with or heal from the bad experiences of your childhood? 

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I have a mother who is uBPD and a combination of many other various disorders or at least disordered behavior.  While I didn't experience physical or sexual abuse, I did endure the daily emotional abuse of severe parentification and enmeshment.  The emotional aspects of my home life as a kid were very chaotic and unstable.  And my mom had absolutely no boundaries with me, I was her friend, therapist, etc.  I have very limited contact with my mom now, which is for the best.

I recently started seeing a new therapist who helped me see that all of the current emotional struggles I have are likely trauma (PTSD) related.  I am often triggered, overly sensitive, have emotional responses to things that have to do with my past and numerous other things.  I started reading a book about recovery from trauma and much of resonates with me.  This is all a step in the right direction, but it is still hard to cope with these triggers and realize the extent of my struggle.  I often still feel a lot of shame and self criticism too.   

What kinds of things have helped any of you cope with or heal from the bad experiences of your childhood? 

A good therapist and really working on issues is the best general thing you can do. Mindfulness helps to stop ruminating and stressing and keep tied to the reality of the moment. EMDR helps a bit with PTSD... but I found that disconnecting from feelings is the opposite of what I need most the time, connecting with them, experiencing them fully and letting them fade and deciding whether they were appropriate to the situation (in which case they are probably reality and now based)... or if they were way out of proportion to what the situation warranted (in which case the "hysterical is historical" applied)... meaning I needed to find out what old FOO issues were causing me current trouble... and deal with it, with help from my T.

Also found that I didn't remember most the traumatic stuff... but my mother talking about me as a kid (stomach pumped repeatedly, shot self as infant, tried endlessly to escape from house, was kept on a leash in public... etc)... reminded me of a lot of bad stuff, so others that were around when you were young and witnessed stuff can provide stories... worked better to just talk about growing up with them rather than interrogating a witness, by the way.

The books "The Pathway" and "Wired for Joy" gave great advice on understanding how stress makes us hide our real selves and get pulled in to ego defenses... and more importantly how to notice it and respond in a way that helps us become joyful. "The search for the real self"... very best explanation of BPD and how our FOO effects us and what needs to be done in therapy, that I have found... . and I read a lot, like 100's of books on each thing, a bit obsessive in my search for a solution to the problems uncovered as a result of my own disaster BPD r/s. 

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Forgot one other thing... . posting on here... it helps, a lot. Reading about others issues helps you realize you are not the only one, it is not just you that fell in to the situation... . but posting has some other effects. Posting requires you to gather your thoughts in to coherent sentences and express yourself. Most of the BPD r/s issues are false self (your ego) connecting to a false self (BPD's fantasy illusion)... so when you are down and out of the r/s... you find your deep depression and other strong false feelings overwhelm you... however even simple real self feelings are hard to get in touch with, the act of putting what you are thinking and feeling in to words and expressing yourself... is helpful. At first you may not be real coherent... or clear in your thinking, but it improves over time. The feedback from people who have been where you are, and who are where you are, is helpful as well. Many sounded hateful, denying of any blame for any part of the r/s... that kind of thing made me realize others were in worse places than I was, or that I was only seeing a small part of the picture.

When I first started on this board I was devastated, had divorced, lost my family, more than 1/2 of all my material possessions, didn't know what I wanted in life, had no goals, and had just dumped my pwBPD and started seeing a T. Almost 2 yrs later... find what I write hard to believe it is from same shell of a person... . because life has become better, I expressed myself here a lot (in person I am not shy... but professionally detached, so would never express 1/10th of what I do here to most people.) The back and forth discussing how I feel and learning to be my real self... is improvement. Only regret that I repressed even considering I had any issues whatsoever till the point I was about destroyed in a BPD r/s.